Does my plan make any sense?

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I did a favor for a friend (drew a logo for his website), so he agreed to buy me lunch tomorrow.
Also tomorrow, I have a club meeting at noon.
In this club, there's this woman who I've known for about a year, who I admire greatly, and who broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago. (It wasn't a sad breakup. Come to think of it, I've never seen her sad.) Anyway, I want to ask her out, so I'm wondering if the following plan makes any sense:

After the club meeting, I'll tell her a friend owes me a free lunch, and ask her if she wants to come with me, and I'll buy her lunch, and introduce her to my friend.

Is that too weird? Should I ask her if she wants to grab dinner with me instead?

the question is- does the friend make you look better by comparison?

It sounds like you're trying to set her up with somebody.

If you're interested in her yourself, you probably should tell her that - or hint at it somehow.

How exactly you do that would depend on the type of person she is.


You might say "Don't worry, I'm not trying to introduce you to someone, I'd rather keep you for myself" but it really depends on the person. Perhaps a girl can help you with the words - if you describe the person.

haha. Yes, I guess it would sound that way. My rationale would be that my offer to spend a meal with her would seem less awkward if put in the context that a friend would do the same for me.

There is, however, a dilemma. She's a bilingual history major, and outspoken political activist, and my friend is a motorcycle-riding, electrical engineer roboticist. Consequently, I will have a hard time finding topics of conversation that all 3 of us can participate in.

She broke up with her previous boyfriend because he was too irresponsible. I do a lot of engineering work for my friend, so my conversation with him would reveal to her that I'm a hard-working, responsible person.

No, if you're interested in her, set things up so the two of you can spend some time one-on-one to get to know each other better. Maybe not a meal, maybe a hike or a museum or a demonstration... just the two of you.

That sends a much clearer message and cuts down on conversational confusion and possible competition.

Unless you're trying for a menage a trois...

lol, NO.

Actually, one of my motivations was to save time, but now new obligations have arizen (aroze?), which mean I may need to decline my friend's invitation, skip the club meeting, and abandon my intention to do something with her this weekend. Work sux.

...arisen

Call her and tell her you'd like to get together and do something, don't be lame-o. You'll probably be able to tell from her answer if your interest is reciprocated.

I find it a lot easier to carry on a conversation with someone I don't know well if we are actually engaged in a mutual interest... that's why I said hiking, museum, or demonstration. Dinner conversations stall me out until we've got shared history.

But maybe that's just me...

Don't do it. If anything, it may come across that you're trying to set her up with your friend.

Just ask her out. It doesn't have to be anything too special or too fancy.

One of the biggest hurdles that I have to learn, is that people do get together and do stuff and it's not weird at all. No tricks, no surprises, no ulterior motives... just people getting together because they enjoy each other.

So just ask her directly to do something.

(I'm still learning this, and become very hesitant... but you just have to explain to yourself that you're not doing anything weird.)

what the guy in the mexican sombrero said.
If she says yes, fine, if not, forget her and move on to find another girl.

You are biased to his advice because he is wearing a mexican sombrero.

You are just jealous of his sombrero...

TIME CRUNCH.
I saw her at the meeting, which ran extra long, so I had to leave early to meet my friend for lunch, leaving me no opportunity to speak to her alone to ask her, which is just as well, because I will have no free time today. I must postpone all advances temporarily until I have some REAL free time.
Fortunately, her birthday is soon, so that might give me an opportunity to do something nice for her.

thx for the encouragement.

She is fluent in Spanish and spent time with the Zapatistas, so it makes sense that I should take the advice of someone wearing a sombrero. I don't know HOW it makes sense: it just does.

I don't know how someone can say "I don't have time".

To say 'I don't have time,' is like saying, 'I don't want to - Lao Tzu




Best thing to attract the chicas

haha. You wanna judge my life? It's complicated. Are you a mechanical engineering student? I am, and I'm a member of 4 clubs on campus. Sh*t comes up: I have to deal with it, and I don't blow off my responsibilities. I got an important senior project report coming up this week I just found out about late yesterday, and I just learned that I need to have my Robotics Club shirt design finalized by Tuesday. That leaves me very little wiggle room. I don't bluff. When I say "TIME CRUNCH", I mean it.

I won't invite her to dinner until I can guarantee I can show up.