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LostInBed
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14 Jul 2009, 8:37 pm

I have a friend who in the past has brought up the idea of the two of us becoming involved and recently reiterated on it. Now I know he likes me because other than an inkliong I had at one time he's actually tod me outright the he likes me.

I would like to start a relationship with him but there's an issue. He's just been accepted into the Navy and while he will be in Ontrio for the next few months doing boot camp and all the other training pertinent to his position once he's done he's going to be sebt of ot port out of either Halifax or Vancouver. In short I'm a little weary of a potential relationship becoming LD because I won't be able to move out with him because 'l be ib the midst of classes at that time and even if I didn't have any oblgatory obstacles I wouldn't want to move out with him, not because of how early on it could be in the relatonship, but rather because with the economy as i is there's just as litle chance I'd find a job out there as here. Another reason I don't really want to do the relationship "thing" with him is because the last tim I had a friendship turn into a relationship when me and the person broke up I lost his friedship for a year and a half.

Should I say something to him or just stay friends?


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Tim_Tex
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14 Jul 2009, 9:11 pm

If you like him, I would say go for it, despite the initial burdens and inconveniences. If you don't try, you could miss out on a very good guy.



Maggiedoll
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14 Jul 2009, 9:34 pm

How do you feel being around him?
Do you enjoy the way he normally smells? (Seriously, the scent thing is like a cosmic sign.)

How long have you known him?



LostInBed
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14 Jul 2009, 9:45 pm

Maggiedoll wrote:
How do you feel being around him?
Do you enjoy the way he normally smells? (Seriously, the scent thing is like a cosmic sign.)

How long have you known him?


no issues with his scent

I feel very easy and comfortable around him and I'm overly open iwth hi(a charactaristic or so I've read/heard is typical of auties/aspias) and am constantly reiterating to him about my past "relationships" and he said he's happy I comfortable to be so open with him. I've known him for about 2, 2.5 years


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SilverStar
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14 Jul 2009, 10:46 pm

I wouldn't rule anything out with him right now. You don't have to have a relationship with him for the time being, just make it one of those "let's see where we are in x amount of years, then go from there" kind of things.



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14 Jul 2009, 10:55 pm

Ok, so what exactly would it mean for the two of you to be a couple? You're comfortable and open, you get close enough to smell him, known him two and a half years.. how will things be different if you decide to be in a relationship than if you're "seeing where things go" or something? Will it be mainly in not seeing other people? Calling him your boyfriend? Sex? Will it mean spending a lot more time on the phone and such?
What exactly is it that you're debating?
(Does that make sense? I ask if things make sense way too much, I know... I'm just bad at wording things..)



Tim_Tex
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14 Jul 2009, 10:59 pm

SilverStar wrote:
I wouldn't rule anything out with him right now. You don't have to have a relationship with him for the time being, just make it one of those "let's see where we are in x amount of years, then go from there" kind of things.


Very well put!

If only more people would think like that.



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15 Jul 2009, 12:48 am

LostInBed wrote:
I have a friend who in the past has brought up the idea of the two of us becoming involved and recently reiterated on it. Now I know he likes me because other than an inkliong I had at one time he's actually tod me outright the he likes me.

I would like to start a relationship with him but there's an issue. He's just been accepted into the Navy and while he will be in Ontrio for the next few months doing boot camp and all the other training pertinent to his position once he's done he's going to be sebt of ot port out of either Halifax or Vancouver. In short I'm a little weary of a potential relationship becoming LD because I won't be able to move out with him because 'l be ib the midst of classes at that time and even if I didn't have any oblgatory obstacles I wouldn't want to move out with him, not because of how early on it could be in the relatonship, but rather because with the economy as i is there's just as litle chance I'd find a job out there as here. Another reason I don't really want to do the relationship "thing" with him is because the last tim I had a friendship turn into a relationship when me and the person broke up I lost his friedship for a year and a half.

Should I say something to him or just stay friends?


You lead a complicated life, don't you?

I can't offer advice. Other than don't constrain your options. At your age you have a long life in front of you. I tell you three times(oops a Louis Carroll reference, my bad) That things can change. Or not. One never knows what the future may bring. And to worry about a breakup that effected things for 18 months is very short-sighted. Wait until you have unresolved issues that span decades.

Because it will happen.



LostInBed
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15 Jul 2009, 10:31 pm

Maggiedoll wrote:
Ok, so what exactly would it mean for the two of you to be a couple? You're comfortable and open, you get close enough to smell him, known him two and a half years.. how will things be different if you decide to be in a relationship than if you're "seeing where things go" or something? Will it be mainly in not seeing other people? Calling him your boyfriend? Sex? Will it mean spending a lot more time on the phone and such?
What exactly is it that you're debating?
(Does that make sense? I ask if things make sense way too much, I know... I'm just bad at wording things..)


what I'm debating is whether it's a good idea to become seriously involved, and yes everything from being comfortable with him, to how close I'll get to him, etc is accurate, as well we do "that" on a casual basis. It's actually the long distance that's making me debate whether or not to start dating him. It's just inconvienient on my end because I wouldn't be able to follow him out to whereever he's put to port from and in terms of him I wouldn't want him to have to spend however much time of his shore leave jetting back here(to Ontario) when I'm all he has back here because if he's posted in Vancouver then his family will already be out there.


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