Profile help

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I recently redone my profile on okcupid although it hasn't helped any, noone ever messages me. I was hoping you guys and girls would read through my profile, destroy it with your criticism and then maybe offer a few suggestions as to how i could come across as someone worth at least a message or two. However, i'm not interested about lying who i am, or what i am upto.

Here's the link

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mihhaelo

Ok here is my advice (sorry if it is too harsh, just trying to be honest).

-The pic makes you look weird. Because you are not staring at the camera or smiling, it looks weird. A front on one where you are smiling is more inviting. The one of you in a bedroom smiling looks much better as does the one below it where you have your face resting on your hand. In both of those you are good looking. The black and white one you also look hot but it looks a bit "poserish".

-Perhaps rephrase this bit "I'm pretty shy at first although when people are stupid enough to let me know it's okay for me to talk to them..." to "I'm pretty shy at first although when people are silly enough to let me know it's okay for me to talk to them..." I think "stupid" just sounds a bit weird and harsh.

-Under "What am I doing with my life" you have a typo "goto" - should be "go to" (sorry I am a bit of a grammar nazi..)

-Your "I'm really good at" is quite funny, I like that bit

-Put some of your nice features in "The first thing that people notice about me". What you have now is ok but would be nice to hear some of your positive features (though I think dorkiness is a positive feature too!)

-The Carmex comment is a bit gross. Don't like to read about people's lips falling off

Overall I think it is a pretty good profile. You come across as dorky and funny.

Overall, I liked your profile, it's quirky and funny.

my suggestions are

* change the primary profile photo to either the one of you hugging a snowman or the one where you are wearing a blue t-shirt. Better to have a profile photo where you are smiling, good natured & quirky is a better first impression than spaced out & weird.

* forget the "carmex" paragraph...too much information. They may be a fact of life but no one wants to visualise cracked/bleeding lips

Don't know if there's a quirky spin that you can put on "unemployed"? I'd leave that bit out altogether if possible, or put 'other' or "cornflake connoisseur" (if you like cornflakes that is...I'm not suggesting you change your breakfast preferance)

I'm not a big fan of online dating sites, because I've never had any luck with them for one thing, and I think it's better to meet people in real life, because you learn so much more about the other person than you ever will chatting with them online. That being said, I do have some suggestions that might help.


Your picture could use some work...you look creepy in the main one. This is kind of shallow, but most people will skip right over your profile, if you don't look good or have a good picture.

Try not to use words like "stupid people" or any demeaning things like that.

There is nothing wrong with being honest about yourself, but I think you were a little too honest about your shortcomings in your profile. My advice would be to highlight your strengths, and minimalize your faults/weaknesses. Some people might find it funny, but most will probably be thinking thinks like "he has messy hair?".

Tone down the self depreciating humor.

Okay, well i haven't changed any of the writing yet but i did change the picture as suggested and i've ran into a new problem, well not really a problem but something i would like to have explained... The last 9 people to look at my profile have all been men... 8 of them have their sexuality listed as straight; whereas one has his listed as gay. Okay i understand why the gay guy looked at my profile (He's blind and has poor taste in men)... but what about the other 8? Why would a straight guy choose to look at my profile? Do i look like a girl or something?

uh you are loooking for friends? says so on your profile. then there isnt anything wrong with it. apart from perharps the second picture....

You are more likely to attract wierdos ( which you might be aiming for ) with the self depriciating humour.

i was going to say the men were checking out the competition but perharps they are shy like yourself and looking for friendships too!

also too much text. ( six thiings to do without)

Maybe they're people from WP that have OKC profiles and were looking at your profile to see what changes to suggest? I know I looked it over, so I may be one of the straight viewers of your profile. Most of what I'd suggest changing was already said, especially in regards to your main photo (it's not like you don't have some good ones on there), though I may use the wiki-editor thing on there to suggest some more edits. I find that I have to be in the right mood to write a profile, let alone one that isn't for me, but when I'm on I'm pretty good at it, at least judging from my results over the years. You should also try to get up to around 500 questions answered, you'll find that 500 is the "sweet spot" where the system can really start to accurately suggest people, and it's really easy to keep OKC on a background tab and answer a few questions while waiting for other sites to load.

Haha, that would make sense!

My blunt response - you've highlighted a lot of things that would be construed as a negative. More than anything, if that is how you see yourself then it is likely that is how others will see you as well. You need not berate your fashion sense - instead of being negative, you could highlight that you are indifferent to trends and use a twister wheel to choose your clothes in the morning - humor doesn't have to mean abusing yourself. While I find there are amusing bits throughout, there are also points (bleeding lips, cow manure, anything without employment opportunity) that are really shooting yourself in the foot and would make me cock my head funny if I were come across a profile like that when I was looking for someone. My two bits.


M.

I agree with maku above, and also, can I take this opportunity and remind you to put a space in "goto"?

also- remove the "unemployed" status. put something more neutral there, like "freelancing" or "considering a few offers" or "in between jobs". that would make you seem less unambitious.

My advise: Ask a friend, preferably a girl, or even your mother, to interview you with the same questions and let her write it down. I can see almost nothing positive in your ad. You are constantly putting yourself down. Everything is set in a negative context, so even funny and normal things you write about are dwarfed. It is like you are warning people for a disappointment.

This is what I read: stupid people, noise, squirm, dork, no idea what to do, no employment potential, failure, messy, dorkiness, gimpy, mismatched, lack of fashion sense/color, always wearing sunglasses (don't look me in the eyes), everything else is meh, fruit is horror, bleeding lips, no sense of smell, displace my emotional crap, crazy and non-conforming. *pfeeew* oh wait: no capacity to think, caffeine addiction, stupid box.

This is overkill. For instance, you probably don't give a f*ck about fashion, then why mention it at all?

These negatives may be a part of you, but should be summarized in 1 or 2 sentences mixed with some humor, like Makuranososhi-san said about twister.

Now focus on why someone would want a relation or friendship with you and about what features you like in other people.

p.s.
I think that if you did not state you only want female friends, potentially male friends will look at your profile. But even then, straight guys will also try to learn from the competition.

Because this is how he is and this what he's really feeling about himself, how matter he'll try to mask this and trying to 'beautify' his expressions like many gurus and guruettes are suggesting here, he'll expose himself at the end of the day , most probably in date 1.

Michjo, if you are not capable to get successful dates in real life, then don't expect to get one online, your core problem remains whether you are seeking offline or online.

If sex is all what you're seeking then you can give online dating a try , otherwise seek to solve your core problems that always prevented you to get a gf , one by one.

Please allow me to ask, LPP - how does not trying help one learn? Dating is dating - whether self-started, online, blind or what-have-you - which begs the question why are you trying to discourage someone from pursuing what they want? He is asking for help, which is being offered by most in the thread... telling him to stop isn't very helpful in my opinion.


M.

guys, you should take a look at this:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/rea_hanna/pictures/

I wonder how many pms she gets per day.

Didn't tell him to stop, he can still try.