In love with Aspie

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Hi,
I was hoping for some advice. I have been in love with this guy for years. I told him a while back. He said he's only said that to his parents and on a separate occasion he said he does not know what that word means.
He keeps coming around so I know he at least likes me as a friend. But it seems like every time he comes over he has a time limit. At first I thought it was that he was an alcoholic and needed to go get a drink. Now I think he gets uncomfortable and doesn't want to have an anxiety attack in front of me. I have seen him have panicky moments but I think there is much more going on than what he shares. I told him he can be himself with me. Is there anything I could say to help him feel safe with me? Any advice would be really appreciated.

^ Yes. The fact that he's coming around at all probably means he is trying very hard with you. It's a compliment when an Aspie deliberately moves out of their comfort zone for someone. You'll have to give him a lot of time and space. Just be prepared.

Just ignore it when he gets weird and leaves. Let him take it slow and don't make him feel like a freak. Don't expect much romantic maturity and emotional reciprocity. If he keeps coming around then he likes you.

I would say more than likely he likes you and his creating of outs to get away from you is his self defense mechanism to dealing with the uncomfortableness of the feelings he has when around you.

Just be honest and tell him what you're thinking.

We're like dogs: Honest to a fault, extremely devoted, but completely unable to anticipate anything that isn't just SAID to us. If I could charactarize aspie love it'd be: Deep, intense, and annoyingly oblivious.

Patience goes a long way, and so does...well....relaxing. I suspect that if you're relaxed around him, it might just do some good.

one of my gfswould ask me...why am i so quiet...i didnt wanna say 'cuz i have asperger's" so i said "idk"

Take it slowly and carefully, trust and maybe love will come with time. Your aspie friend probably still regards your place as a strange. One other thing, for an aspie dealing with girls is hard, probably one of the hardest things we have to deal with. Imagine standing in front of a thousand people in your underwear giving a speech, that's how we (sometimes) feel.

Vanilla_Slice

One thing you can try when it looks like he is having an anxiety attack is to become a little motherly with him... help him feel safe and comfortable in his surroundings, have him sit down with you and just hold him until he feels better...

Thank you all for your valuable insight.

I'm a NT who has been with my aspie boyfriend for four years. In the beginning, I had the same issue you have. I was absolutely in love with him for so long, and would tell him often, and he didn't seem phased by it. He explained that, to him, to say "I love you" is practically an engagement. He won't simply "love" people who he doesn't have a future with. When he eventually told me, it was a beautiful day in our relationship. Aspie's are much more loyal than their NT counterparts. When he eventually tells you that he loves you, you'll know that he very intensely means it.

Good luck!

well just like ur friend have anxity attacks and i can understand where he is comming from. the best thing for you is to just tell him you will never leave him for something like this. let him no that you will support him.