I call what the OP described as lust. You can tame the drive but never will it go away
Just for reference, I feel that real love will make you feel the opposite of needy. Given how you've hidden your drive all these years, needy may well get mixed in for you, for a while, but its one of the key differences between relationships that are that aren't meant to and those that are: how being with the person makes you feel about yourself. Those feelings should be positive, not negative.
My husband, who is most likely AS, swore off relationships for quite a long time (I think it was 7 years, total). In fact, it was that position that kept him from asking me out for two years. I had figured he must not be interested, that he didn't see what I saw the first time we met, and so when we ran into each other I was polite but basically had moved on. Eventually he decided he was ready to date again, and put me on his "to do" list. Second, after another woman, actually, lol, but, hey, I'm glad he got a little practice in overcoming awkward before our first date - which was awkward enough, but still positive, because just somehow I knew. I, um, did a lot of dating in those two years that has caused some friction in our marriage but, overall, the time he needed to be by himself was the time he needed. You can't do what you aren't ready for. And for some, marriage is something they will never be ready for. But, as my husband proved, you never really know.
_________________
Mom to an amazing young adult AS son, plus an also amazing non-AS daughter. Most likely part of the "Broader Autism Phenotype" (some traits).