How do females respond to 'broken' males?

Page 1 of 6 [ 84 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

i_wanna_blue
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,113

01 Jun 2009, 5:01 am

By broken, I mean guys who probably have a very negative self image and those who are probably to afraid to initiate any type of communication, for fear of rejection and further ridicule. Chaps who have either by assumption or experience found that the world is no place for someone who is tentative, timid and weak.

So how do females respond to such guys? Are they complete right offs or do some females feel a certain attractiveness towards them because of their fragility?

Although I am not certain of her feelings, a girl who I had a crush on, smiled at me on few occasions. At the time I thought: 'Nah, she must think I'm some sort of clown". But she always gave an impression that she is more accepting of those who others label as outcasts. Whether this is true or not, I cannot be certain.

So how do females respond to 'broken' males?



WrongPlanetLurker
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 11

01 Jun 2009, 5:10 am

They ignore them completely.



Cundrie
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 15 Mar 2009
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 20
Location: Berlin

01 Jun 2009, 6:13 am

i_wanna_blue wrote:
Chaps who have either by assumption or experience found that the world is no place for someone who is tentative, timid and weak.

It's not a matter of changing but a matter of searching persons that are the same!
I'm sure there are a lot of girls looking exactly for such a person...



CelticGoddess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,968

01 Jun 2009, 7:56 am

I've dated guys who have had it all, and guys who have struggled. The ones I was most compatible with were the ones who had the most struggles because we had a balance of working to help each other out. I had a boyfriend in highschool who was like that and he's still one of my closest friends. He still struggles, as do I, but he's there for me in a heartbeat and even if we don't talk for months, we just pick up where we left off when one of us needs the other.

I like a guy who isn't afraid to admit that he has issues. I supposed I guess it makes me feel more comfortable in talking about my own stuff. I'm not perfect either and I have a laundry list of stuff that makes it hard for me to function. I think there's a different level of understanding when you both know what that's like.

There definitely ARE women out there who are more sensitive to that. I was always that girl growing up.



Fudo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,696

01 Jun 2009, 9:59 am

"he is a half a man, a "ma" if you will" ;) if anyone gets that i'll be amazed.. Fudo's Avatar is a broken man :(



billsmithglendale
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2008
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,223

01 Jun 2009, 2:01 pm

Everyone has issues and things they are strong or weak in, but nobody wants something that is "broken." Would you buy a broken TV from a store? Would you take home a broken pet?

If you see yourself as broken, you're projecting a whole world of problems that will dissuade someone from wanting you.

Get unbroken, and do it like you mean it. Old cliche, but you have to love yourself for someone else to love you.



Daemonic-Jackal
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 581
Location: Salford, United Kingdom

01 Jun 2009, 2:09 pm

If we show no emotions we're seen as heartless, if we do show emotions we get get labelled 'wimps'.

The term 'broken' is a tricky one. 'Broken' women always seem to get plenty of sympathy in the media where as 'broken' men don't.



i_wanna_blue
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,113

01 Jun 2009, 2:30 pm

billsmithglendale wrote:
Everyone has issues and things they are strong or weak in, but nobody wants something that is "broken." Would you buy a broken TV from a store? Would you take home a broken pet?

If you see yourself as broken, you're projecting a whole world of problems that will dissuade someone from wanting you.

Get unbroken, and do it like you mean it. Old cliche, but you have to love yourself for someone else to love you.


No I wouldn't take home a broken t.v. However I may be persuaded to take home an injured pet. If you look at something inanimate as broken, no one will want any part of it. But something alive, something animate, that is maybe a little rough around the edges. You know you can get something better, but maybe someone will come along and will be content with it despite this. I think you are taking the word broken too literally. But thanks for the advice. I do know that you do have to love yourself before anyone can love you.

Oh and thanks CG. You have given guys like me some hope. :)



CelticGoddess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,968

01 Jun 2009, 3:23 pm

i_wanna_blue wrote:

Oh and thanks CG. You have given guys like me some hope. :)


No problem. There are girls like that out there. They're hard to find but they exist.



LePetitPrince
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Mar 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,464

01 Jun 2009, 3:40 pm

They would disrespect them and s**t on them :lol:.

or they just buy a glue...



i_wanna_blue
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 9 Aug 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,113

01 Jun 2009, 3:58 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
They would disrespect them and sh** on them :lol:.

or they just buy a glue...


Buy a glue to piece him back together? I don't get the other part though. :?



CelticGoddess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,968

01 Jun 2009, 4:39 pm

I think he's basically saying they would walk all over him and use him etc.



Fudo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,696

01 Jun 2009, 5:25 pm

some women will walk all over you, apparently, but i'm not into that kinky stuff ;)



mitharatowen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,675
Location: Arizona

01 Jun 2009, 5:47 pm

It definately depends on how 'broken' they are and it also depends on the woman.

As for the first one - there are guys with issues and then there are guys who ARE issues. My ex husband has issues and he allows those issues to dominate his life and therefore never ever gets anything accomplished because he is so wrapped up in himself and his fears. He uses those issues to make excuses for why he 'can't' do things and feels fully justified in doing what basically amounts to taking advantage of everyone else. Eg. he would think "I didn't refill my sleeping pills on time so I haven't slept in 3 days. Therefore I am justified in acting cranky to everyone and leaving trash all around the house because I am too tired to clean. And when others clean up, I am justified in getting pissed off at them for making noise when I am trying to sleep during the day because I haven't slept in 3 days" (true story) He feels pity for himself when in reality it is all a result of his own actions. You might say he is his own worst enemy and he completely refuses to acknowledge it.

On the other hand there is a man who might have emotional scarring and realizes that he has issues and struggles with them from day to day. This is a completely different kind of man. One that you may certainly clash with from time to time but you know that he is really trying to deal with his issues. I definately have my own emotional issues as well as neurological ones and that can cause me to be needy and insecure at times (among other things). I know this can be difficult to deal with so I try not to let it affect my life. My new love has similar issues as well as some unique ones of his own and I am very greatful to him for being patient with my issues and I also try to give him reassurances of my own to help heal his emotional scars. I will also do my best to help him and support him in whatever he does as much as I can and I am sure he feels the same.

Who says co-dependency has to be a bad thing? ;)

Then again, of course, you have to realize that many/most people do not want a 'project' but are looking to find someone who 'has it together' so that person can take care of them. Right? ;)



CelticGoddess
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Feb 2006
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,968

01 Jun 2009, 6:25 pm

mitharatowen wrote:
Then again, of course, you have to realize that many/most people do not want a 'project' but are looking to find someone who 'has it together' so that person can take care of them. Right? ;)


But in between the two is a "work in progress" and that's not such a bad thing. :wink:



0_equals_true
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Apr 2007
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,038
Location: London

01 Jun 2009, 6:38 pm

No matter how caring people are there are limits. Consider this how much of someone offloading onto you are you able to take.

I think it is good that people share their problem are honest and caring, up to a point.

I have plenty of problems, but I try to pull people down with me. These are problem that I must deal with myself. I know that.

Even people who are paid to listen to peoples problem probably go a bit nuts from it.