ASpie social skills where they went am I different?

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What is your fealing when it comes to social stuff? I want to help real bad. I got an intresting theory Could be a real big help..

THis not rant so don;t be afraid

Okay, I'll bite

I find regular, every day social interaction exhausting. Having to think about how long to maintain eye contact, how my body language is affecting the listener, putting on a fake smile, and dealing with my failures to do so, leaves me tired and yearning to get home and disconnect.

When I think of a relationship with a woman, I think of having to do all this, but at a pronounced level. I look at the flirting and see it as being mostly non-verbal to the point where people go to the next level and play with words, knowing they are meaningless. So, my feelings are to avoid romantic relationships whenever I can because they are way too stressful to be worth it.

If I had a nickel for every time a woman accused me of flirting with her because I looked at her too long, I'd be considered eccentric instead of weird. I realize (and there is a great article about this too) that there is timing involved but my thoughts always go like this: "I know it is bad not to look at a person. They think that if you aren't making eye contact, you are weak and untrustworthy. So, make eye contact. There. Eye-contact made. Now, manage all the rest. Oh crap, I maintained eye-contact too long. Now they are making strange faces at me that I didn't expect. Oh crap, now this person is treating me strangely and will continue to do so. Can't I go home? I really want to go home now."

Just a question, but why think about social interaction at all? Develop routines and programs and just use those. Practice so they become second nature. Then maybe you won't be overwhelmed by it.

Well, I do that to a point. It is the spontaneous and unexpected social situations that cause the biggest problems. For the most part, I get by on a daily basis with simple routines and programs, which I get practice for naturally every day.

I'm doing what the psychologists said I couldn't do and I'm proud of it. When I was growing up, they all said the same thing: put him in a cubicle and leave him alone and he'll be fine. Instead, I became a consultant.

Frankly, I don't believe in accepting a disability, even when I know, as it in this case, I can never truly overcome it. I can't spontaneously grow neurons that aren't there (or aren't firing, or don't fire in the same configuration as an NT -- nobody knows yet, right?). I was going to be shipped off to a special school when I was very young because of my aptitude. I was going to be one of those self-directed kids who would get into college early. My parents couldn't afford it, though, so they kept me in public school. It was, of course, a nightmare; one, unfortunately, many of you can relate to. HOWEVER, I wouldn't trade it for that pampered life-style I would have had if my parent's weren't lower middle-class. Just like a person who is in a wheelchair yearns to be treated like everyone else, so do I, and frankly, I'd never have gotten to where I am today without having to endure what I -- and you guys -- endure. I didn't commit suicide (a few close calls), and I made it through. I am more happy to be alive and am able to enjoy myself more than any NT I know.

It was worth it, every second.

Why is it so hard for you guys I all have to do is relax and it becomes second nature asperger to nt in a few. I get suicidal at times but it still is good. It must be what I put into my body which is alot. My mood is so elevate I go all nuts supersensitive. I have been and still am isolated but I have them all intact. Must have been observation. My said I copied my brother. Don't you guy want the reward. I am starting to relize how different I am. I want to share my gifts with you guys it is so rewarding for me.

I am not sure but my experience tells me that they are repressed do to overstimulation. Feed the brain with the right stuff relax and it flowes for me. As a matter of fact I never knew I was such a chatter box like my bipolar mom.

find the schduel that is unwritten. Expand on everylittle word and you will turn into a blabber mouth.

Got to dig going to commit suicide if something does not change mood elevated on were to go In between is not fun.

Um, er... wha... I have no idea what you are saying. But, one of the earlier posts was a bit more intelligible. Asking why an aspie can't relax and just socialize is like saying to a deaf person to just relax and hear. Our brains just don't work that way; none of it comes naturally. It does come naturally to 99.99% of the rest of the people in the world, however (aspies are 1 in 10,000 last number I saw). So, it is totally understandable and, in fact, one of the main frustrations for an aspie that others have no idea what it is like and, at times, do not even believe it.

I had a friend do that last weekend, actually. My other buddy had to explain to him that, because I spend so much time with them, they know me well enough not to misread body language, I'm totally comfortable with them (and, well, usually drunk, so weird behavior is easily dismissed -- A TRICK TO REMEMBER! But, once you get me in a group of NT's around a table that don't know me very, very well, it gets very strange and awkward.

I knew I am different. That is what frusturating I can't make friends for some reason cause I get nervous. I probably was primed since birth from all the trauama. So are you saying even if your in a good mood you don't socialize affectively? I feal more things when I am calm. I played some music especially desingned for meditation and it maid me feal upset cause my mom boyfriend's mother died. It is these event that cause my mom to see that I do infact feal things its just I am not in the mood.. I wonder where I got the dignosis. They say they don;t even know what causes me to be islolate autistic process or trama. All I can see is the hate every time. I have girl at a store want me as a girlfriend and I have had two at ounce yet I can't cause my brain is making me uncomfortable. About what I don't know. I makes me suicidal what is the point of having gifts and being alone. I hate it when All my family leaves I get lonely so there is desire. Sad thing is they anoy me and some are dangerous my mom. I somely believe this all my mom fault and now I took it one step further thought about killing her before I commit suicide. Why the hell would be autistic process when I am socially nt. If that is the case I probably will commit suicide because pstd does not go away for ever. Who wans to be alone for rest of life. I already have final stage skin cancer I know its been 3 years but I still have a chance. I just eat nothing but junkfood all day then I probably would die.

I could just take some l tryosine and feed miligant melinoma.

Nobody could catch me I could lie. I could make my mom upset before she I die and then she could die of depression that would be wounderful. If somebody takes me to a hosptial I beat the f**k out of the staff I could take my pstd out on them. Or I could make there jobs really tough. I always like this at night exhausted in morining

Yes, my social skills do not change much based on my mood. In fact, the happier I am, the worse I tend to get. I stop thinking about my social interactions and start to say some very strange things by NT standards. You can probably tell, I have a tendency to get preachy; that isn't good, particularly with my peers. It is because my mind is always analyzing; always. It drives some people nuts!

You are twenty-three years old, right Florescent? That is still pretty young. Give it some time and life will get less stressful as things become more clear. I'm looking forward to turning fifty or so Suicide is a very serious thing. If you are feeling suicidal, and worse, homicidal, please seek help. None of these things will lead to anything but pain. Life is wonderous, don't miss any moment you can get of it! It isn't always pleasure, but if it were, it would be very, very boring.

And know that, even though some people may act hurtful and say hurtful things, most people are great and the bad ones just tend to stand out more. Forgive them, even if they come onto this site and say hurtful and mocking things for their own amusement. Such people are sad and pitiful, but not necessarily evil.

What is "pstd"? Also, what trauma did you experience at birth?

I'm sorry to hear about the skin cancer

When you say your brain is making you uncomfortable, do you mean you feel uncomfortable, or is there a physical challenge you are facing, some sort of brain damage?

MY biological dad tried to kill my mom me and my brother tried as babies tried to hold him back. Big mistake. She then precedes to marry another abusive peron who she said raped her when she was hurt and slept around on her. She abused him with her mouth also. That guy came to out driveway after he was thrown out and my mom was going to help him commit suicide. My uncle commited suicide. I got raped I have gotten maid fun of all through out my school year. I could not go to my graduation cause people where going to beat me up. My grandfather and my mom boyfriend mother died. I had 6 radioactive needles injected all at ounce for cancer test. I had to wait 6 hours for appendix reptured . I should have died there. In there my mom got in a car accident cause she was worried about me. My lung collapsed. I was to lazy to breathe which is normal. My bike goes flat 2 miles from my house then I have to carry it home. I was supposed to die 2year ago from cancer they left some lymphnodes in. My mom made fun of me delayed diagonsis of cancer. She tell strangers I have asperger. I lost an 8 dollar per hour job cause I had pschogenic seizure on the job. Non eptiliptic stress related thing. I just lost the centipede collamidy in my house. They fall on you when your sleeping. My mom ignored my cancer and aspergers she caught selling drugs. She is rude rotten obnixous sob everyother day. Everyone she hangs out with is rude. She has maid a pass at me so has my sister . My sister pinced my ass. MY BROTHER took pictures of me in the shower. Gee I don't know could all these images be calming in my mind when people want to be my friend. It may never go away. I may never have girlfriends or anything like that. I worked out got bulked up for nothing. My birth almost killed my mom. I have been fighting sinse birth with that women, It may see like she love me but this her good times cause she will stab you in the back the next day and make fun of you.

I already told my therapist he did not react. I think it is becoming numb. People think I am 16 but it cancer is thing I am actually 159 . I plan on living that long origally.