Give up

Post Reply New Topic

So let me ask you all this, why havven't you given up trying to find a girlfriend?

Because it was worth it.

Things only become hopeless when we give up... I had a lot of bad relationships, was taken advantage of on a number of occasions - but I kept learning, kept looking, and came to realize she'd been in my life the whole time, just hundreds of miles away.


M.

I don't quit when things get difficult. I know that much about myself up to this point.

Why are you wanting us to give up in the first place?

I'm done, I'm finishing school instead.

I haven't given up yet...but I can think of a lot of reasons that I probably should...

For one, if there's a girl that I like and it turns sour, I can't just walk away from it. I dwell on it, and everything around me becomes unimportant. I wish I could control it, and I wish I could just say, "enough and move on" but I can't. My mind becomes so focused on "fixing" whatever it was that I broke or messed up, even if its completely unfixable, that it just crushes me when I fail. The heartbreak alone is simply not worth the trouble.

I think as a tie-in to the above, I sometimes think that I'm simply happiest when I'm not a boyfriend, and when I'm not lovestruck by anyone. I've come to learn the best thing I can do is to avoid situations whenever I can where a possible love interest might turn up. That way life is simple and easy. Sure, one might ask if I'd get lonely, and yeah, I do. But a girlfriend isn't going to solve that lonliness, because I'm lonely for people that are in my imagination, not people in the real world. The people I want to like and have a solid relationship with, I highly doubt actually exist in the world.

I haven't "given up" per se, but I don't try. I don't know any woman. I don't have a single female acquaintance to talk to or anything. I don't have a viable way to meet women. So, I don't expect to meet anyone. If, by some fluke chance, a woman I find attractive has a flat tire as she's driving by my house and comes to my door for help, sees that I'm watching a Battlestar Galactica DVD and comments on how much she likes that show which leads to an interesting conversation which ends with us deciding to grab coffee or somethig, then that would be awesome. However, there's absolutely no point in maintaining hope that will happen so oh well.

I never truly gave up on finding a boyfriend/girlfriend (used to conside rmyself bi, now don't care about sexual orientation), I just stopped desperately needing one. OH well, I never "hunted" for a girl/boyfriend anyway, since all the people I had a "crush" on (not sure whether I was really in love or just wanting to have a romantic partner) before my boyfriend were unreachable for one reason or another anyway. However, I never really gave up as in deciding I could neve rhave a relationship anyway. But then again, it may be easier for females because the male tends to be the more active seeker of relationships and the female tends to be asked.

Perhaps I'm too young, but I'd never give up. There's always a chance I could get a gf.

i try to imagine this.
i cant help but to imagine some grinning schmuck getting to her first.

optimism isnt my forte
*tries...
pops an eye-capillary*

I believe that there is someone for (almost) anyone.

Perhaps you are looking in the wrong place.

Ask yourself: Where would nice girls be?

Answer: Probably not in bars or nightclubs. Perhaps in church groups or charities or art groups.

You know, I've that same question a lot on this forum. I often wondered what made the possibility of finding happiness worth all the rejection and hurt feelings that almost always accompany it. I guess for some guys on here, the hope of finding one girl that will love and care about them outweighs all the times of rejection. One relationship of happiness is worth more than all the rejections in the world, I suppose.

As for myself, I've really become apathetic toward looking for a girlfriend. I do find women attractive physically, but I only meet them on rather superficial terms, so I don't really chase after them. After being rejected for a long time, I merely have accepted being alone, you learn to cope with something unpleasant if you continually have to deal with it.

I can tell you from experience that there are no girls in church groups (unless you want to become a fundamentalist)...

I still don't get this -- at my college there must have been 100 cute chicks in bible study groups, and I was in a pretty liberal city. I know for a fact there are girls out there looking for "Good Christians." There must be other college and youth oriented bible groups that aren't part of a school as well.

Humans have emotions which make them do unreasonable things, like trying to find a girlfriend.

Persistence is futile. You will be humiliated.