doing things you don't want to...
asobi_seksu
Snowy Owl
Joined: 17 Aug 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 129
Location: stationary village,scotland
a fellow aspie friend of mine that was visiting and "likes me" got a bit too personal for me last saturday...Hugs and hand holding I can cope with but I ended up doing stuff just to make him happy.i Love being friends with folk but anymore scares me.i hate my space being invaded and that plastic sheen that seems to come over my eyes-that numbness when I leave my body during these events.
Sometimes I think I'm just not ready...that I'm still a child thats not progressed and stayed the same...I feel like my aspergers has took the chance of normality away from me and not given me anything in return.
I withdraw from others as i just hate the physical aspect of life.Myself is mine and my mind is all I wish to share..Is it possible I'll outgrow this?
i just don't feel anything from a kiss,hug .etc...
is this normal?
I'm generally weird about affection from friends and family, but when I'm interested in someone it's the complete opposite, and usually to the extreme. I never really know what to do, so I end up scaring people away.
_________________
"Occultism is the science of life; the art of living." - H.P. Blavatsky
asobi_seksu
Snowy Owl
Joined: 17 Aug 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 129
Location: stationary village,scotland
i've never felt any different even with people I know in my heart I really like..
I'm sorry.
You shouldn't have to do anything you're not ready to do... Everyone has their different comfort zones and all that need to be respected. And if you force yourself to do something you don't want to do, that will only make you feel worse about being touched and the like so you have to set up some boundaries.
Sometimes I think I'm just not ready...that I'm still a child thats not progressed and stayed the same...I feel like my aspergers has took the chance of normality away from me and not given me anything in return.
I withdraw from others as i just hate the physical aspect of life.Myself is mine and my mind is all I wish to share..Is it possible I'll outgrow this?
i just don't feel anything from a kiss,hug .etc...
is this normal?
Synesthesia is right. If you do things for someone that you're not comfortable with you're just going to make things harder for yourself. And if it's stuff like that then you can mess up your relationship with someone too.
I don't know if other aspies grow out of it but I always hated hugs and kisses even from my parents, and enjoyed cuddling, but not kissing or anything with boyfriends. Then I fell in love with my current boyfriend and I love all kinds of touching with him--even the "slobbery" tonguing that I never imagined I could like. But I guess that's what being in love is--you feel like the other person is you in a sense, and not touching just doesn't feel right.
I think when the situation is truly right then you won't mind the touching. Hopefully you'll really enjoy it too. But there's nothing wrong with not being a touchy person.
asobi_seksu
Snowy Owl
Joined: 17 Aug 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 129
Location: stationary village,scotland
I don't know if other aspies grow out of it but I always hated hugs and kisses even from my parents, and enjoyed cuddling, but not kissing or anything with boyfriends. Then I fell in love with my current boyfriend and I love all kinds of touching with him--even the "slobbery" tonguing that I never imagined I could like. But I guess that's what being in love is--you feel like the other person is you in a sense, and not touching just doesn't feel right.
I think when the situation is truly right then you won't mind the touching. Hopefully you'll really enjoy it too. But there's nothing wrong with not being a touchy person.
I've been really worrying about as I thought someone would just get too annoyed to stay in a relationship with me cause of it..
Everyone's different about this. But others are right - don't do anything you're uncomfortable with!
The right person will understand and let you things your way.
The right person will also inspire you to try those things, and you'll love the way they feel.
_________________
"Be uncomfortable; be sand, not oil, in the machinery of this world." - Günter Eich (1907-1972)
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