I still don't get it....

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How can someone tell you they care about you, miss you, and notice when you don't call. But never call you? Never come see you? Never try to make plans with you? Ignore your calls and attempts to make plans? But when you ask the person about it... tells you how they miss you and want you to keep calling and want to be with you??? And it's the Aspergers causing them to trip up and not call etc. I'm so confused... NT answer would be "they just aren't that into you" move on... but is Asperger's answer different??? When do I give up ??? I'm really feeling down today and wondering why I bother... no matter how much I like and care about this person.

I'm feeling your pain, hon.

So how long has it been now since he's been in contact?

Sounds like a game they're playing. They are just saying that and they don't mean it. I wouldn't count on them to call.

He's probably scared because he doesn't know how you feel about him.

I'm kind of agreeing with Spokane_Girl here. Maybe he's just telling you what you want to hear, but clearly his actions don't match up.

In general, Aspies like the other to do most of the scheduling of dates and such, but this inattentiveness is extreme. I don't see it getting better.

Oh he knows how I feel about him.... I've told him very clearly....even wrote it out in a letter.

Could be they're trying to let you down easy, figuring if you get fed up and walk away, they don't have to go through the uncomfortable process of breaking things off and you don't have to feel dumped.

Or it could be that they're telling you the truth - they can only handle the social interaction for limited periods and choose to avoid it otherwise rather than be uncomfortable and irritable in a situation that for Aspies can be grueling. Yes, I often feel that way even with people I love dearly.


[b]Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Moe...[b]

Guess that wasn't much help

could be alot of things.
Could be he is scared, or thinks this is the "right way" to deal with these things, or he may be thinking about you but forget to call. Yeah the last one sounds kind of cotradictory but it can happen.

So I don't think I could tell you with any certainty. But at least those are some good peossibilities to consider.

What you need to do is tell them you would like to hear from them more, or that its difficult for you when it feels as if your the only one pursueing them and they aren't working towards you in any way it seems.