friends

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with benefits sound like it would add a whole new dimension of awesome. and this one chick's been hitting on me constantly for like the last day and making just those implications. to top it off she's attractive and a few years younger than me. i win

some things just brighten my day and send my confidence soaring toward the skies.
and after being depressed and having not much anything like this happen to me in the last 19 years I've been alive
i find the whole thing highly suspect and have a strong nagging feeling something's going to blow up in my face. or that I'm going to do something really really dumb without meaning to xD.

any thoughts?
I've stepped out of the shallows of my comfort zone and i'm swimming in uncertainty right now

edit: through chatting with her since the making of this thread she has let on she is indeed looking to make a friend w/ benefits out of me. suspicion confirmed. now to set a time and place and hope i don't do anything stupid in the meantime to tempt the God-of-Blind-Luck until i actually do get lucky, effectively sealing the deal so to speak and shying away from the precarious transitory position I'm currently holding.

[so at this point advice on stupid things not to do and possibly some things that have met with some success, would be very welcome to someone who honestly never expected to make it this far and has little to no experience on the matter xD]

Last edited by Seanmw on 20 Aug 2009, 11:30 pm, edited 2 times in total.

They all blow up in your face sooner or later - don't let that stop you from having a great time while you can. Dude. Go for it.

It's worth looking into but how do you know she's only interested in a friends with benefits situation? Maybe she's looking for a relationship.

Great! Just be your goofy self. You're articulate and have a lot to offer being exactly you.

Enjoy it for what it is, and then move on when you feel so compelled. As long as both of you are on the same page, there's nothing to worry about.

Wear a condom though.

oh, i doubt it. i've literally known her more or less for a day. who makes a more serious decision like that that quickly?
besides, it says on her myspace page that she's single and "not looking."

she just added me out of the blue on myspace and started IMing me.

1 hour later she thought i was a sweetheart. which i guess i have a tendency to act like because i'm way too nice and anyone who shows me attention i turn around and turn out compliments.

another hour or so later she wanted to go to Greece with me someday.

another couple hours came and went and she was all down for playing naked Twister and making board game sexual innuendos concerning keeping me company at night after i casually mentioned i had trouble sleeping at night because of my insomnia xD.

yeah, funny thing is though is that we haven't chatted outside of written messages though. and i in no way trust myself to be so articulate talking in person xD

OK, sounds like Friends w/-

damn straight xD
now i just need to see how that all works out. i can talk well enough to her on the internet, but on the internet there's no actual body language like there is in real life to factor in and in real life i'm really not quite so articulate and prone to freeze up.

that's what i hate about AS sometimes. it has the tendency to self-sabotage
i just have the strangest feeling i'm going to manage to f*** myself over somehow xD.

well, giving it my best shot, if that fails, celibacy and my right hand will just have to do =p.

I find this idea of being sexually clumsy very intriguing because in my own experience, sexuality is the only time I ever truly feel comfortable and able to communicate with my body.

You provide your anme, age, location, photo, you are probably on the electoral register being 18 now, and others. You are not that anonymous. You middle name begins with M probably.

no it doesn't actually start with an "m" i just liked how it looked that an m looks like an inverted "w".

but thansk for being a killjoy

I agree. I've had FWB in the past and it has worked out quite well as long as both parties know that's what it is.

Your description of her makes me a bit leery because she sounds a little on the too trusting slightly unstable side of things. You're a dude on the internet, she wants to go to Greece with you an hour after chatting. sounds odd.

But you never know. You only get better in social situations with practice. What have you got to lose? Nothing. At the very least, you gain a new experience even if it doesn't go as far as the full package.

I definitely get what you mean by being better online than talking IRL. Same here.

And Rensilaer brings up a good point...keep the dude wrapped up so you don't end up with a life long gift you weren't expecting.

Then what's the point? Why not have a real girlfriend, and then everything is so much more genuine? Maybe it's just me, but if I were in a FWB situation, it would feel like both of us were kidding ourselves.

You're not kidding yourself if both parties are being honest about it. Sometimes I find relationships are stressful and I like a lot of space. But i have a high sex drive. So if I don't have someone in my life that I'm compatible with, I stlil have that sexual need and if I have a friend who's as equally disinterested in relationships as I am, but has a need, then it works out well for everyone involved.

Best case scenario? I have someone I'm crazy about who is compatible with me, has an equally high sex drive and we have an awesome relationship and we can also do it like bunnies. That hasn't always been the case though.

actually i get the feeling the Greece thing wasn't entirely serious.

ever made semi-serious statements in the heat of a conversation? like the kind of thing where you're saying something that sounds ideally like a fun or good idea but don't really expect it to really happen or for the other person to take it entirely at face value, but to add some flair to the conversation flow? sorta what i think that was.

lol, although if that ever really came up as a real possibility, that would be kick-arse! i've had a friend who went there and said it was his favorite places out of all the places he toured while bicycling through europe.