I need some advice
I am trying to get more serious when it comes to dating and relationships. I am already nineteen years old and I have never even dated yet. I feel like if I don't do something about it right now it won't get any better for me. The thing is I finally have the confidence to mingle with girls and to talk to them even though I still lack some skill at it. The problem is I really do not know how to go about this dating thing. I would at least want to get to know this person a little bit before asking them out on a date, but I really have no way of getting to know someone deeper at this point.
Most of my social interaction comes at the workplace and thats it. I guess my big problem is that I have pretty good social skills with girls at this point I just don't really know how to let them know that I may be interested in them. I need all the help I can get. I just realized that I have to try to at least get some dating experience under my belt it I am to have any chance of finding love later on. Relationships and me may not mesh the best, but I have to find some way to make it work. Someone please tell me there is a chance that it will work out. What the heck do I do?
lelia
Veteran
Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 72
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC
Most of the time the first few dates with someone is to get to know someone better anyway. Sometimes there is a connection and others there isn't. If not its a good way to get someone to be your friend.
I have no real experience in dating either though. Just things I have been telling myself as I try to find someone to talk to me and be a friend or girlfriend. So far most seem to ignore me completely though no matter what I say to them.
Most of my social interaction comes at the workplace and thats it. I guess my big problem is that I have pretty good social skills with girls at this point I just don't really know how to let them know that I may be interested in them. I need all the help I can get. I just realized that I have to try to at least get some dating experience under my belt it I am to have any chance of finding love later on. Relationships and me may not mesh the best, but I have to find some way to make it work. Someone please tell me there is a chance that it will work out. What the heck do I do?
You're 19? Okay, you're in a world of hurt for a few years. It's probably not going to get better until 21, and probably until after 23.
So put it out of your mind and concentrate on school/work and making yourself a better person (exercise, find a hobby or two) knowing that you have 4 years before it gets better.
Okay, if you believe that great. What I'm saying is if you focus too much on it, it's going to drive you nuts and remain out of your grasp. A relationship is two people, and since you can't control the other person, do what you can for yourself in order to prepare for the right time and person.
Now, pending that. You find someone you're interested in. If you had things you liked to do (jog, hike, x-box, ski, etc.) then you simply invite them along. This is where making yourself busy and a better person helps - there are things you can invite other people to do along with you. This easily expresses your interest in them as you're willing to share your time and interests .
If you have ZERO relationship until your 24 are you out of the game? Not at all. Just look at guys who join the military, the peace corp or people who immigrate from other countries.
Getting 'game' doesn't mean you have to start now. Focus on what you can control now: yourself.
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