Milla Jovovich on the topic of geeks

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For whatever reason, as of the beginning of the year, Maxim has just been showing up in my mailbox free. I just shrug, usually don't worry about it (unless I'm that bored), of course though yeah - when Milla's on the cover I had to take a look.

The interview of course was mostly just her talking a bit about her recent movies and her High Times cover daze, but when asked the question of what she thought of being being the dream girl for geeks; I'll paraphrase because I don't want to cause problems here but: she pretty much said its great - it means smart guys like her. She went on to say that nerdy guys are the types who balance out the best when all is said and done and almost always its the nerdy guys who end up with the coolest girls - her recommendation; keep doing what you do best and everything will fall into place.

Tell me that doesn't make you feel warm and fuzzy all over .

Fascinating. Perhaps Ms. Jojovich could be persuaded to share her views in a venue that is seen by more women. I'm suspect the readership of Maxim is largely male, but am uncertain since I've never read the magazine.

Its not even to iconize the value of her opinion - she seems pretty down to earth, would probably even be a bit embarrassed to see someone mentioning her opinion as such but, I just bring her up because I think she is dead-aim on this one. As for trying to throw it into an arbitrary venue though - people do what they will with ideas or opinions and, if its too far outside their scope they'll just black it out like they do anything else that's not useful to them from their own perspective. The cool girls as she'd put it are the cool girls likely from just being who they are and from their formative experiences of life - just like the cool guys, the cool geeks, things do snap into place but I think it mostly happens for people who really keep their ear to the ground for whatever echos of reality they can find in things.

Put another way, you'd really rather see the cool girls be who they are and not have the rest try to break themselves into something they can't be - its too deep from person to person to just be broken by the sharing of an outside-the-box bit of wisdom.

I think it's a true-ism about anyone, really. Being proud of who you are, especially if you're a rabidly passionate and intelligent person, and you'd be surprised at how people flock to you, wanting to be around you.

The good, or perhaps best thing, about my isolation is that I never knew that I was a "geek" by definition. Since it didn't matter to me, I never carried myself like a person afraid of their intelligence would. You can easily turn those kinds of insights into great personal revelations, and so, people just tend to end up loving you for it. I've always had pretty girls around, and I think it would simply be because I made a subconcious decision not to think of myself in any kind of isolating terms. That makes all the difference, in the end.

That's an awesome option to have. I was wailed on by the world around me up through highschool and even intermittently through my 20's, still getting over that in a lot of ways but I took to implementing a similar 'obstinance' to people's desire to want to try and jam my personality and social context into a high school sitcom stereotype - and its true that I don't fit into the nerd or geek frame either, part of me is there and many parts of me are the polar opposite in a lot of senses. Nice thing is, I am starting to meet women who are of a similar type of personality blend to myself .

isnt that typical tho?

the hot hot chick goes on and on about how the nice geeky intelligent guys are the best, best friends, best pals, best buddies etc.

we get happy, and she goes home to bang a big strong cruel sadistic alpha-dog bad-boy.

Not so much anymore. The 'hot chick' who'd rather be with alpha dogs really has no obligation to say things like that and, that said, has no inward need to bother with it. If your talking about manipulators they're everywhere although its best to treat them as their own entity.

People are generally not aware of their own behaviour in great detail on a conscious level. What someone says in a lads magazine merely reflects their opinion of themselves.

For the sake of sanity we are largely delusional beings. It is important that we believe in things like that for our sense of identity.

And no this is not meant as sinicism at all. She may have some interested in geeks, but that doesn't mean she is strictly accurate about herself.

Another problem is people aren't the great judge of character anyway, as i pointed out in the 'Creepiness' thread.

obligation?
im not talking about mean manipulating minorities dude.
99% of all chicks like the alpha male. milla didnt just change the biology of females, if thats what you think. MOST girls are JUST like that, they SAY they like a geek, for all the good reasons, and theyre honest about it.

but for SEX and INTIMACY they want the alpha-dog. thinking anything else will only lead you into dissapointment..

I agree with all of the above. Still, I think there's a grain of truth - even though as you've put it it's not the only factor.

We might be missing each other on verbiage though, as in I don't think a geek who's living at home at 35 and playing Everquest all day will have much going for himself. Just that with geeky guys who have polished themselves up, gotten in shape, worked on career, have their social skills together - the geek factor in their personality isn't going to still keep them gated out of the relationship world. When Milla mentions the 'cool' girls, coming from her the impression I get is that she's talking about women who are self-assured, independent, and yes - have a bit of an analytical streak themselves.

The way you describe typical NT women, I think that's the way they see typical NT guys. Stronger women want freedom to be their best selves, they want a man who can see the best in them and respect it - this is the exact same thing a geek is looking for. The only thing they need in hard specifics usually I think, is that the geek is still a 'man' in the more traditional sense (ie. responsibility/accountability/can fit the protector roll if needed but doesn't push it way out there).

I'm guessing that probably makes more sense?

I'm pretty sure that the number of girls who are geeky nerds themselves is >1%. Geeky nerd girls do not want the alpha dog. Geeky nerd girls want geeky nerd boys. So do artsy girls. So do alterna-girls. The prom queen wants an alpha dog. The girl with black fingernail polish who reads Sartre most decidedly does not. Nor does the girl whose pants are covered with oil paint. Nor does the girl who got into M.I.T. If you want the prom queen, you are out of luck. If any of these other girls sound interesting, they are who Milla Jovovich is talking about when she says "the cool girls end up with the geeky guys".

Actually, I think there may easily be just as many geeky girls out there - just that the >1% feeling you get is in regard to the 'apparent' geeks whereas I think a lot of women with geek proclivities - they'll dress and fit in for the most part with any other group of girls but you'll see a bit more of an intelligent flare in their style, you'll sense something a bit more unique about their identity, etc.. With Milla I think she's speaking about geeky guys as a geek herself.

Milla Jovovich was speaking in generalisations which obviously don't stand under scrutiny, but neither do the statements at the opposite extreme (e.g. "geeks" don't stand a chance with hot women). What most likely holds back men with AS is either a lack of social awareness or depression.

It's my observation that usually within the first 8 years of legal consent, women typically date idiots until they find a nice balance of qualities in their mate. Around here, you can tell when a young woman is going through "that phase," and when the inevitability arrives that the other young men in town are terrible at relationships, they discover the slightly-older, more emotionally-mature guys work for them. It just happens that the geeks make that transition into that behavior sooner, since not having access to their peers for romance drives them in to personal insight and quest for maturation at a greater level. I'd say it's a given that we Aspies are afforded more opportunity for this insight than most, so we don't really need tons of dates with a great deal of potential mates before we find our match.

Seeing how so many of our posters here are older males, and within this very board we constantly see them lamenting how they've yet to find that companion, I'd estimate it's just around the corner for most of them, provided we suck it up and make those crucial personal revelations before bringing too much baggage into the relationship. Without the terrible negative energy that seems to drive others away, AS or otherwise, it's still best to look at the larger picture and realize everyone has a place. Aspies have all of the tools to make their heart's desires happen, I'd say the only thing holding us back is the will and the ability to direct these massive analitical ability inwards.

Would it really be so wise to reveal that you've never dated before (say) to a woman on the first few dates with her?