Question about Aspie - Aspie relationships

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AussieAspie
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12 Aug 2009, 3:00 am

My girlfriend shows a few AS traits but is not diagnosed. I personaly don't mind the AS traits and I find them to be similar to mine. My question is: Is it harder to keep an Aspie - Aspie relationship together because both parties find it hard to communicate their feelings? Does anyone have any experience with this that they can provide insight into?



MissConstrue
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12 Aug 2009, 4:02 am

It is for me.

I can't speak for all aspies but I think my biggest problem for me has always been communication. They say it's the most vital role in relationships.

However I've never been in an aspie relationships...just NT. Maybe you two will understand eachother better.


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nara44
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12 Aug 2009, 5:42 am

AussieAspie wrote:
My girlfriend shows a few AS traits but is not diagnosed. I personaly don't mind the AS traits and I find them to be similar to mine. My question is: Is it harder to keep an Aspie - Aspie relationship together because both parties find it hard to communicate their feelings? Does anyone have any experience with this that they can provide insight into?


Aspie - Aspie relationship is the best as we don't need to communicate our feeling,
we just feel each other
NT make a big show about every stupid thing that cross their mind and must verbalize it immediately
My AS gf and me just know what each other feel with out talking about it all the time
it's just a question of paying attention and AS can be very good at it



MissConstrue
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12 Aug 2009, 8:52 am

nara44 wrote:


Quote:
NT make a big show about every stupid thing that cross their mind and must verbalize it immediately


Yep.... :lol:

And then they expect you to react to what they've said or done that was suppose to be funny or "interesting"...


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Evil_Squeakheads
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12 Aug 2009, 4:01 pm

It's kind of hard when you're both aspie and neither of you know how to keep the relationship going. My aspie ex and I were both uncomfortable with pushing our relationship beyond dates, so the relationship stagnated and we mostly lost interest. But we're still really close, and maybe someday we'll try again.



Tim_Tex
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06 Sep 2009, 9:57 pm

You have to say exactly what you are thinking. No hidden messages, no silent treatment.


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06 Sep 2009, 10:28 pm

It depends on the two people involved. I think that if it were just two aspies, no baggage attached, it would be easier. But who has no baggage? It's not only the AS you have to deal with in an AS individual. Another pretty major issue for (I think) most aspies is some rejection issues, not so much in a pathological way as it is with borderlines, but just from experience.
Kris has a lot of aspie traits too, but I find that the biggest problem that I can see in our communication is fear, based on NTs in the past who have twisted and mocked. We understand each other well, and we both know that neither of us does subtle, and I know perfectly well he isn't going to read into things that aren't there the way some people have in the past, but I still just get too afraid to say things a lot. The difficult thing is fully comprehending that the other person isn't an NT who is suddenly going to decide that something you said means something completely different that you'd never fathomed when you said it..