Get in "Lets Just Be Friends Zone with girls to make fr

Post Reply New Topic

A lot of guys on here complain about the "Lets Just Be Friends Zone ". When they try to start a romantic relationship with a girl she says lets just be friends. Do you think this is a good way to make friends? Its like the negotiation tactic where you make a huge false request, which makes your actual request seem minor.

To be honest sometimes they just say that to let them down gently and have no intention of it whatsoever. I Don't think its a good way to make friends never take that statement literally.

I tend to walk away from such "people". Listen to hale, she knows what it really means and she continues to talk you it doesn't mean she actually wants to be friends it means you have something she wants and is willing enough to use your attraction to get it. Don't give them the time of day. If she can't get around life on her own will without using people to get around then why the hell is she potential to you mate? Don't give her the time of day.

If we just met then I wouldn't really have a problem with it, because it's not smart to rush into things with someone so soon, but if we knew each other for a while and did alot of serious flirting and stuff I'd have a hard time with it because it's like they are just using you.

Some girls just give you the LJBF because they aren't strong enough to tell you to just get lost and leave them alone for good I guess.

Nope, that's creepy and manipulative. Why not just talk to people in an open and friendly way, and see what happens?

I get what your saying but to be in a relationship, it normally best to start being friends and relationships are the things that shouldn't be rushed, these stuff takes time.... You'll find that from being friends to be in a relationship normally lasts alot longer than just meeting the girl and going out with you, chances are with just going out with the girl without knowing you could be a scary or unsuccessfu or she could be using you like what jackdumpster said, because you would never know how the girl would turn out to be, who knows?

I agree with HH about it being creepy and manipilative. That would actually probably scare her off that way.

Make sure shes single, i wouldn't recommend you asking her that question straight, i give it a couple of weeks or months before I get any further.

If she happily likes you and asks you out, then your in luck

No, I hate it because I get into a sort of insane mode of "WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME" with a cross of depression. It makes for a very bad thing, so I stay away from girls because of this awful decision they make.

I really don't understand why women tell guys they want to be friends when they really don't want anything to do with that person. If you are not interested say you are not interested and move on. When you tell a guy, espceailly a guy with AS that can't read body languge and social cues and takes what is being said literary, that you want to be friends when you don't, then the women freaks out when the guy still calls to hang out, do things, ect..

For the record, when I say it I mean it. If I don't like you I'll avoid you like the plague. I have had any number of friendships with guys that started out as their interest in a romance-I didn't feel the same way and we went on to become good friends instead. In general these guys eventually saw what I saw from the beginning and that was that we were better off as friends. If anything we were better friends without the relationship complications and they would say so. I understand the frustration, because apparently with NT women this is the standard brush off, but I'm curious, have any of you sought to have a friendship, just a friendship, with a woman?

hummm. . you ever have someone bigger and stronger than you with testosterone flooding through his bloodstream raging at you while you wonder if you are going to be able to get away before he starts swinging? If you haven't, then don't talk about someone not being 'strong enough' to be blunt.

Women have different situational issues than men do. Try to think of that.

I don't think men are gonna beat you if you are straight up with them. Most men would rather hear the truth, rather than given the run-around. An honest, but polite response to their advances is the way to go.

You've just been given advice never to take that statement literally.

Don't do it. You don't have to beacuse of some label a doctor slapped on you. The next time a woman says that to you, you can think "Yeah I know she probably doesn't mean it" and forget about it.

Then you'd be wrong. Try not shooting your mouth off about issues of which you clearly know nothing.



It's certainly true that at least some men would be fine with the blunt truth, but since the violent ones do their best to look like the rest of you, we can't know which are which.



The way to go for whom? Your convenience is less important than a woman's safety. Get used to it. If you don't like the way things are, take it up with the guys who wreck things by pretending to be like the rest of you when they're actually violent about not getting their way.

I'm a woman and I don't do this. When I dumped my ex, I wanted to stay friends with him and we did but I saw him less because he wasn't that important to me. We still chatted on AIM but he wasn't on much anyway. Then we lost contact two years ago. He IM me again this month on YIM and I got all these offline messages by him.

My second ex told me if will still be friends after our relationship but I realize now he might not have meant it and I took it literal. He stopped answering my IMs and phone calls and mom told me to move on and he had moved on. I was happy to hear that and stopped. Then ironically he IM me again in November 2007 and never heard from him again. That was odd. It was suggested that he was maybe trying to see if I was single again and I was like why would he want me back. I was too immature for him and an embarrassment to him because of my stims and stuff and my childish interests.

Why do I like these people? I have no idea.


Mom also told me two people say they will be friends after their relationship but after they break up, they see how hard it is to stay friends. So yeah they can literally mean it when they say it but after the break up, things can change. Mom told me "isn't it funny how two people say they will still be friends and then after they break up they aren't?" I asked her why and she said it's hard to stay friends. So also consider this fact too.


But when men and women meet, they start out as friends because they have to get to know each other first and see where things go from there. Mom told me that's how relationships start. It starts out as friendship. I would agree it be creepy for a man to take a woman out and then he asks her if he wants to be his girlfriend. If a woman did that, the man might chuckle and find that cute but with men, it's different.

Not true. Now who is making generalizations? I have had this happen to me many times: "Ken, you are a nice guy but I am not ready or interested in a relationship right now." Then about a week later, she introduces me to her new boyfriend that she just met, "we just hit it off". They jump right into the BF GF area, not being friends first. I have seen that happen more times then not.

That's an interesting point. But then, he probably has known exactly that situation, as males are far more likely to be the victims of physical violence from other males. It's rarely commented on, because it is so common, regarded as a normal part of a boys upbringing.