Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

autisticon
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 209

07 Feb 2006, 11:24 am

You know what I love, when you write a big post and then Firefox crashes, and you have to type it all again. Yes! I love wasting time! *rolls eyes*

So here's the scoop (and I'm going to make it brief this time). Met a girl, tried to keep it just friends even though I liked her and she liked me, we got drunk, s**t happened...

Now the fun starts... she's already started playing games with me. That's alright, they all do, I accept that. I guess my problem is that I suck at playing games. She cancelled a date the other night, but instead we chatted for over an hour online. The next day we didnt talk, even though we were both online. I kinda was waiting for her to message me (as is usually the case), but yet she was probably waiting for me to do the same.

But in any case, my anxiety has gone through the roof. I knew this would happen, hence the reason I was avoiding it all. I just dont get how to play their games, I suck at them so bad and always work myself up over them. I have got myself to the point where I can be confident enough to make a move on a girl (which was never the case in highschool), but from there the games start, I get stressed out, and as a defense mechanism I just end up breaking it off with them.

But anyways, I'm just ranting (or rambling)... this is the part of relationships I can just never get past. Most guys just brush this off like its nothing, but it drives me insane (maybe thats what they're testing for).



comeonandseeme
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Gender: Female
Posts: 33

08 Feb 2006, 9:02 am

I know how you feel, I have no idea how to play these mind games either and getting a date cancelled or being ignored is so hurtful. These games are usually power games. In my experience there's little you can do to avoid these other than avoid dating people altogether. Just act as you normally would, initiate a chat, send a message, let her know you care. If she cares enough about you, then she'll eventually drop these games and concentrate on you, and not on the power she has over you. Hang on in there and good luck. :P



autisticon
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 209

08 Feb 2006, 11:27 am

I'm not sure if its about power, sure with some girls it may be, but I typically dont date that kind. The girls I date are typically more reserved or shy, so I think it has a lot to do with them being in doubt, like they over analyze the situation and dont really know what they want. So they pull back, to try and figure things out. If you push too hard, they retreat to a point where you wont get them back. If you pull back more than they do, than suddenly they start fighting for you... Its funny how it works.

As it stands I have a date with her this weekend... so we'll see how that goes.



NeantHumain
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jun 2004
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,837
Location: St. Louis, Missouri

08 Feb 2006, 12:56 pm

autisticon wrote:
I'm not sure if its about power, sure with some girls it may be, but I typically dont date that kind. The girls I date are typically more reserved or shy, so I think it has a lot to do with them being in doubt, like they over analyze the situation and dont really know what they want. So they pull back, to try and figure things out. If you push too hard, they retreat to a point where you wont get them back. If you pull back more than they do, than suddenly they start fighting for you... Its funny how it works.

As it stands I have a date with her this weekend... so we'll see how that goes.

Are you sure they're as shy as you think they are? Sometimes people speculate about how others act by basing it off how they themselves act. Maybe this is how you handle relationships as much as how the girls you meet do.

This is just a random thought based on things I've read. I'm not saying it's accurate.



autisticon
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 209

08 Feb 2006, 3:27 pm

NeantHumain wrote:
Are you sure they're as shy as you think they are? Sometimes people speculate about how others act by basing it off how they themselves act. Maybe this is how you handle relationships as much as how the girls you meet do.


Not all, I've dated some that are the complete opposite of shy. I've also dated some that are really shy, or just a little shy... they're all different.