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I've been with this boy for 3 months now. We see each other about 3 times a week, mostly at night, because he's at work during the day and I will be at college soon. I really miss him when I'm not with him, but when we're together I feel like I really need to be alone! I'm not being mean, I really love him. Is this an Aspie thing and what do I do?

I love my family in small doses. I can watch movies with them, sometimes play games, or even go places. But overall we like our freedom... our uniqueness. But to actually sit down and have a long conversation.... it's rare.

It's nice to have others in the house, but I get frustrated if I get interupted too much. I'm glad they put up with me... and I with them. It's easier to do my own thing while they do theirs, it lowers oppertunity for conflict.

I think it may be hard for an NT to understand the need for independance... even when you are with someone.

"You were born together, and together you shall be for evermore....
but let there be spaces in your togetherness.
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you."

Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)

Maybe try other forms of togetherness? The only one I can think of is when we go to the bookstore, we split up go to each our own favourite book section, then meet up outside. When you're together, are you glued at the hip? Maybe you're transitioning to a more relaxed phase of the relationship. Beginnings are so intense.

I know the feeling, I often get sick of being around people after a while, even if I'm close to them or in a relationship with them. I guess you need to pace yourself. If you're together talking and/or making out the whole time, that's a lot of intense human contact, and you'll probably get tired of it sooner and want to back away and have alone time. But if you're doing something like playing video games or eating together, you can focus on other things while still being together, and you can tolerate it for longer periods of time. Also, it might be easier talking online or on the phone when you're away at college. The key here is moderation.

see thats the problem, all he wants to do is talk and cuddle/jiss, we listen to misic but that's not really doing anything! he doesnt come online much either. it sounds stupid but i don't know what boyfriends and girlfriends do together!

Pretty much what you are doing. Although, actually doing something would probably be nice too, like, going out and doing something. Movies, food, mini golf, hang out at a lake, whatev you enjoy in your neck of the woods.

Sitting around and talking is nice, if you are both genuinly intested in the topic of conversation, cuddling/kissing is the more physical part of the relationship. Often, that's more or less what differs friends from something more.

My opinion, based on what little I know about you two, is that while you like him n all, you are probably find him boring. Part of a relationship is enjoying each others company, and if you don't (even a little) then he's just boring.

Yeah, getting out and doing interesting stuff is a good idea. The way I see it, the ideal relationship is basically like being best friends, only with mutual attraction and physical stuff. So do things that you enjoy doing with your friends with him. Also, going to the park or playground with someone can be a lot of fun.

i don't find him boring at all, i just think it would be nice to do something different once in a while