possible aspie possibly attracted to aspie who is ftm?

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Lot's of possibilities there...haha.

So I more than likely have Asperger's...I score really high on the Aspie quiz and generally identify as someone with Asperger's. I haven't gotten an MRI but I will at some point.

My situation: I am terribly attracted to my very awkward former mathematics professor. We've recently struck up a friendship and are talking about getting together to do some extracirricular math. I am pretty sure she's also an Aspie. She wears the same thing every day, doesn't make much eye contact (though we have both started making eye contact with each other), is very awkward and definitely has some special interests. I really like her. There's no rules against us getting together at my school, since I am no longer her student, and there would be no consequences. She is 35 and I am 28.

The problem is, we're both awkward in similar ways. And the other problem is that I decided to tell her that I'm transgendered (female to male, transitioned 6 years ago) because it seemed like we were headed in the direction of mutual attraction. That was yesterday, so it's really kind of soon to tell. She told me in the email that she never understood why gays and transgendered people generate so much hate, etc and she also said that it doesn't really matter to her...this was all said in terms of just friendship though. There was no mention of anything beyond friendship. So I know she is totally cool with this on the friend level...but now I have a feeling that we're both going to be more uncomfortable and nervous than usual.

If she was NT (which I am almost positive she is not) this would still be a difficult situation... I am pretty sure she was attracted to me up until I came out to her. I think...neither of us display many nonverbal or flirtatious stuff, but then again, I don't think many Aspies do so great in that area.

Advice? I should probably just wait and see what happens...it's just that I am so nervous.

an interesting situation...
one of i've never seen the likes of.
so i'm sorta at a loss for any viable advice.
but wishing you good luck with that

I'd stick to waiting it out. Try to become more of a peer to her, and do what you can to establish yourself as your current gender. I think it's worth the time to let her see you as you are.

I've never been in a relationship beyond a friendship myself, but I'd wait to tell her about your being transgendered until you two are on the "friend level" whatever you consider that to be . But I would definitely tell her if this "mutual attraction" ends up being present. It would most likely really hurt her if you didn't tell her and you got serious (even as a strong friendship) b/c it would probably look like you do not trust her. Good luck

You guys need to read more carefully, he already told her!

Hey, an MRI won't show you whether you have AS. It's based on interviews with friends and family members, things like your baby book, a trait analysis and an intensive personal history. Sometimes, an IQ test will be given to see if you have the uneven distribution of talents that is often a hallmark of AS.

I know that's not what you are asking about though. I just got stuck on a detail.

I think it's very cool you and the mathematics professor are connecting. Good luck!

Wait and see. You can (probably) only make it worse by forcing affection or moving the relationship at a pace which is not comfortable for either one.

Okay, you're nervous. But who isn't when getting into a new relationship? Assume she's awkward because she doesn't have much experience dating and you are now an different (and new) variable. So yeah, give it time and for both parties to become comfortable/familiar with the each other.

Thanks you guys for your input. I posted a new thread about this:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp2416033.html#2416033