Pre-occupied with sex

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I realise this is probably a very common issue, but perhaps I'll get some more direct advice when I ask it personally.

Over the course of my teenage years up until now I have repeatedly been foiled in my attempts to aquire a romantic relationship with a girl due to my pre-occupation with sex.
As soon as I feel any sort of physical attraction toward a girl I'm talking to I find myself unable to subdue the overwhelming amount of sexual thoughts (in the form of graphic mental imagery). Every attempt at blocking these images or replacing them has been met with failure, they completely dominate my thoughts at that particular time.

I start to daydream then and there, sometimes mid-conversation and forget everything else, I can't concentrate on the conversation anymore and I just start mentally undressing her. I skip the "getting to know eachother" part and move directly to the suggestive metaphors and aggressive flirting which, of course, scares them off. It's by no means the only reason for my continued "single" status but it is the most hindering.

Another problem, though unrelated, is that once a girl has been with someone I know personally, even if that person is not a friend, I lose any and all interest in her. This has also prevented me from taking several opportunities to start a romantic relationship.

Because I think this is a common problem I hope some of you can help me out with this because the urge to find a partner has been increasing at an overwhelming rate recently.

Are you having enough sex at the moment? The only time I get pre-occupied with sex is when I'm going thru a dry spell. Otherwise, the thought is just common place.

Guess you just have to hold yourself back at the moment. It sucks being desperate, as like you said, your ability to get people to want to have sex with you wanes. Stifle your thoughts, masturbate, or do whatever you can to keep cool for now. You'll be back at it soon enough.

OP: why do these feelings and thoughts suddenly happen? Maybe if you can find the reason then you can temper it enough not to put people off.

Enough sex?! Am I the only one who thinks that a life/relationship without sex is neither freaky nor an indicator that there is something wrong with that person? Isn't a relationship all about how two people relate and feel about each other? Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I really don't see why people place so much emphasis on sex as if it were the be-all and end-all of a relationship. Sorry if I come off ranty, but this one really annoys me.

I should've mentioned I'm a virgin...so yeah, I'm going through a loooong dry spill.

And it's not like I prioritise sex above everything else, I actually believe that sex is merely for reproduction. But once I actually get close to an attractive girl my beliefs come crashing down. I also don't think masturbation will solve it, I see to it that my needs are taken care of but that's it.
Perhaps the only thing I can do is just wait it out.

I didn't mean that you did - just that a lot of people do and think it's strange if others don't.

Well I think it depends on your preferences. I do not understand why other people's preferences annoy you? For example, sex is a large part of why I am in a relationship. I think if I was not interested in sex I would not bother at all with relationships. A relationship is about how two (or more, if you are polyamorous) people relate and feel about each other and sex can form part of this.

Lecks, perhaps it is because you are not getting any, that you are so preoccupied. Perhaps get laid (i.e. with someone who is happy just to have sex and not worry about a relationship) and then look for a girlfriend to have a romantic relationship with.

Ah, gotcha. In that case, what you're going thru is perfectly natural. I've seen it many times and went thru it myself too.

Not everyone is naturally good with people & can get sex without trying. Especially aspies. At some point, your desires will be too much to handle & you'll be driven to get laid as soon as possible. At this point, forget about normal relationships & all that stuff experienced people talk about. You're just not ready for all that yet. You need to satisfy your desires, but try to be ethical about it as much as possible too.

Sexual desire is something every living creature is born with, and should not be minimized. Saying it's not important would be like telling a starving man eating isn't important. Sure, someone who's had food regularly could say it's not important, but the starving guy wants to eat anything he can get his hands on. Once he gets something, he'll eat like crazy for a long time until it becomes common & routine like it is to everyone else.

It's a bummer your sexual desire got to the point of starvation, but it has. You'll just have to accept it.

PS: don't let a bunch of sanctimonious ideals discourage you. It probably has for long enough. It's time to solve a real problem with a real answer.

I don't think it's freaky or that something's wrong with someone not having sex. But, for most people (especially males) sex is a very important part of a relationship.

There should be some kind of sex-seeking website only for Aspie men.

i wouldnt say its "perfectly normal" if it turns you into an immediate "predator"

it seems like you are putting a lot of emphasis on the sexual experience.

know this: its overrated. i know you dont believe me, but it is. its a fact.
dont let it be the be-all of your mission in life.
de-focus from the sex, to the girl. charm her, reward yourself w her laugh etc.
forget about sex untill it falls into your lap :]

Ever seen "Something About Mary"? Aside from the semen/hairgel part, you might want to think about masturbating before the date, or masturbating more in general. It will help sap some of your fixations and get your mind off of the topic when you're in the "getting to know someone" phase.

don't go out with a "loaded gun" sorry..

If a relationship is based on sex, it is as temporary as our interest in, or ability to have, sex with each other, and many marriages break up because the sex has stopped (among other things).

Someone who wants a relationship solely based on sex could date a prostitute and feel no different than if they were dating someone who wasn't. That's what bugs me. If the other person's personality isn't important, what's the point of the relationship?

If marriages are breaking up because the sex has stopped, that implies that sex is pretty important.

Re your point about prostitutes. You do not "date" a prostitute, it is a business relationship. Also there is a big difference between having sex with a prostitute and sex with a partner. If you are in a monogamous relationship you do not have to worry that your partner will be out having sex with others, you do not have to pay them to sleep with you, they learn all your favourite things in bed and the risk of diseases is low. Again, I am not sure why it bugs you about why people who are mainly interested in sex are in relationships rather than having sex with prostitutes. Why do you care about what others do if it has no impact on you? I just do not get it.

Fudo is right though. As mentioned earlier, I would get yourself off before going to see the girl of interest and that might help drain some of the pent up sexual energy. Figurtively and literally. If you find a healthy outlet for it, then it should help you function better when you're in the situations that triggers the obsessive thoughts.

this I think is better in the adult forum