Ever get dumped or rejected because your an aspie?

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Ive always wondered this at times. Ive been in a few relationships before and when I tell them about my autism i get dumped not long after or rejected. If I dont however things work out fine until she finds out eventually. Does anyone else have this happen? Sometimes I feel like I have to lie to myself to make relationships work these days because most NTs try and avoid someone they are with once they find out the person has a neurological disorder.

Most people aren't secure enough with themselves to be with anyone with a "problem". In society, you're really not supposed to associate with anything that others might judge you for. It's annoying, and I wish people were stronger, but they're not.

If you're dating someone that would break up with you over your condition, maybe you shouldn't be with them. Or maybe you should, but just casually, and never confide in them about aspergers, unless it starts seeming like they might be okay with it. It's okay to be less than honest, remember that. Being totally open about things is only doing you a disservice, even though people say honesty is the best policy.

I remember how I recognized someone at the gym who went to the same college I was attending. Her sister was in a wheelchair, and hung out with her and her friends, but she fearfully denied any relation to said girl when it came up. I later did find out I was right the first time, and that was her sister. Why would she deny that? Probably because people might think less of her.

Only once I think I got rejected because of it. The girl was a few years younger and gave me the no reply treatment after I told her. I've been rejected simply because I identified too much with my ego by someone I was dating for two months a couple months back, but not because of the disorder. I don't think I have ever been rejected because of it otherwise. I come across much differently than you might think.

You have to think of a collective ego that people have... Too many people fear what others think and that is a huge issue for many people you will meet. Of course these people are too busy looking for acceptance from others and as a result they would throw away happiness and peace within themselves because they are too afraid of what they think they will lose if they stay with you. A lot of people would rather pass judgment on others than work on their own self improvement. The mind and ego fears annihilation and people feel they can justify throwing you away like an old toothbrush. I see that as their problem and not yours.

Instead of thinking too much of why you got rejected, just improve yourself as well and don't pass judgment on others for how they reject you either. You don't want to play into their game and I am sure you know that it isn't fun to do that either.

To me that's just weird. I mean; if you are dating someone with aspie traits; why leave them only because they have now supplied a word for aspie traits in aggregate?

I work with a number of aspies (none have specifically disclosed to me). But after working with them for a year, I bit by bit, began to realize that some were aspie because they had many traits. I don't like them less once I've come to consider them aspies than before I put it together. They are the same individuals with the same traits as before.

One aspie co-worker, I do not like, but I never liked her in the 1st place.

Dating is, of course, different than relating to co-workers; mates need to rise to high compatibility levels and that's relatively rare in one's life; lots of culling necessary. But culling due to a label only? Doesn't make sense.

NTGirlfriend: Im breaking up with you because well........[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHxr2etrfKc[/youtube]

Honestly, when I found out the guy I liked had ASD-at first my heart sank, but only because he explained that it affected the way he behaves in relationships. I actually was relieved because it explained so much. Didn't deter me. I just started ordering books and....joined WP.

The last date I went on I got called a "dingbat" by the guy.And he was aware that I am different mentally.Now I'm afraid to date,if I can't be myself I will just stay to myself.

All the time. Thing is, the feelings are mutual.
I really cant stand most NT's now.
Give me a Dingbat any day
these are our people

So what soften the blow for you ? How did it become an non-issue for you ?

seeing negative stereotypes for what they are is a good way to begin
aspies can be prized as lovers
especially the women

I'm always rejecting NT's for their proclivities....

About as many times as I've rejected someone for being an aspie.

I just got an email saying it was hard for him to answer questions about relationships because...then he went on to explain. I almost cried. Then I said 'who cares?'
It was never an issue for me. It was for him! He said said he doesn't do well in relationships. This was after about 9 months of me persuing him and falling in love with him. I didn't care! It's who I am. I'm thinking okay so you have ASD, so what?! He had never told anyone else where we live about it because of how people react. I was honored he told me. I haven't treated him any differently as he had feared. He's the same guy I fell in love with who rambles on about cars and government while I try very hard to follow along. I can now explain inflation. No other guy has taught me about that!! !!

On the one hand, I've never reached a stage advanced enough in a relationship to reveal my diagnosis.

But I often wonder if my unspoken tendencies drive people away. Which is why I'm always conflicted...wanting to reveal who I am upfront, so maybe the other person will be a little more understanding if I come off as odd, or don't always follow protocol, but then again, the logical part of me says such a revelation is too much too soon to reveal, say, on a first date.

I certainly wouldn't mention my Dx on my dating profile. That's a surefire way to scare everyone off. People are so goddamned ignorant still.

I like the way it was revealed to me. I don't think it would have mattered if he had told me earlier though. But I had time to get to know him and then his diagnosis. I think his 'quirkiness' is what attracted me to him. He seemed so sincere and sweet. And turns out he is both. Like I said it explained some of those quirks so now I understand and don't take things personally. But even before I knew I would just think 'that's just him'.

Well on the brightside if I dont tell them right away I still manage to get some hehe!