does she like me?

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I posted a thread a while ago about a woman that I liked and I thought she liked me too...but we're both awkward (and I'd place bets that she's an aspie too). She was my math professor a few semesters ago, and is 8 years older than me. There's no issues with her being my former professor at my school.

At this point, we've hung out twice. We were supposed to hang out with a math buddy, a sort of "chaperoned" date because I was nervous about being alone with her but she kept canceling until I told her my friend was going to be out of town. Then she wanted to meet and we met at a coffee shop and did math (separately but together). It was pretty fun and although awkward and uncomfortable, and when I said goodbye, instead of acting normal I backed away from her like she has the plague and WAVED goodbye...but after I walked her home and walked the four blocks to my place, there was already an email from her in my inbox saying she had a great time and doesn't usually have fun outside of her apartment (she's a bit of a shut in) and would I like to do it over again next Sunday.

So we made plans for the following Sunday but she ended up having to cancel because a student needed urgent help. We rescheduled for Tuesday night. We went to a different coffee shop this time that was kind of loud/annoying and as I walked her home, she mentioned how much she didn't like other people (and I agreed, because I don't like most people either) and she asked me if we could move our hanging out to her apartment soon. I said yeah, that's fine. Then she mentioned that the student she met with Sunday evening could meet her on Sunday mornings, so we could hang out on Sunday nights.

I don't think she hangs out with former students much. And I don't think she hangs out with many people on a weekly basis. And it seems like she wants to spend time with me alone, but that could just be because she doesn't like most people but I am acceptable. As a friend.

She has to know that I am into her. This has been going on for some time now...but I can't read her. Sometimes, like in email, she seems like she likes me but in person, she's much more reserved. But we've only hung out twice. And both times have been in public, so that probably puts a strain on both of our social skills.

What do you guys think? Does she just want to be friends or do you think I should bring it up?

It sounds like it's going great. I don't think you need to "bring it up", just start hanging out with her on Sunday nights and try to let things happen naturally. At a pace that feels closest to comfortable for both of you.

The only way you'll know is to ask. It's tricky, yes, but she sounds extremely shy so you'll have to take the chance. She might be thinking someone 8 years her junior couldn't possibly be interested in her. You never know.

really, you think so? i'll just try to be natural and not try to rush anything. i'm really impatient so this may be a life lesson type of thing lol

thanks!

but kittenwithawhip-- you think i should ask her? i'm not very forward...pursuing her has been a very tedious venture.

a bit more background:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/forums-posti ... 07764.html

You don't need to ask her, because the answer most likely yes. She probably wouldn't be hanging out with you if she didn't like you, & she definately would not initiate contact like she's been doing. Keep dating, & progress from there.

Asking her, "do you like me?" could go bad too. It can imply that you want her to say no, that you feel you need approval to advance, that she needs to be more clear, etc...
All kinds of confusion it would be best to avoid.

I liked a girl at work a year and a half ago, I had never told anyone i liked them before, but i was brave this time as i thought she liked me and we had become good friends. I told her by text message i fancied her She turned me down as she was in some situation with another guy, but I was happy and relieved afterwards that at least I knew for sure. She told me that she thought i was nice and a good laugh and she still wanted to be friends. She seemed really happy and flattered that i had asked her out and told all her friends at work. I think it had made her happy even thought she didnt want to date me she had liked the suprise. All her friends she told talked to me about it, some of them made fun of me (not in a too nasty way) and some of them were just excited and asked me lots of questions "what did you say", "i didnt know you liked her" etc. I think it made me more friends. I had always been worried in the past that if i made such a move it would be incomfortable and arkward, but she was still relaxed around me and wanted to be my friend, although i admit it was a BIT arkward at times. It was more arkward before when i wanted to ask but i was too scared, i think she could sense it as she was very NT and empathic. But not as bad as i was scared of and i liked the attention it got me and how she enjoyed telling people. I think it was less arkward and uncomfortable to get it in the open. Even if she doesnt want to date you it may not be cause she doesnt like you, it may be situations in her life. Idont know if you can be best buddies with a woman and then bust a move on her tho. I imagine it would be hard to still be best buddies.

Well, I didn't mean hand her a note that says 'do you like me check yes or no'. The tricky part is finding out without being too blunt, ergo scary. If you're a little confused, though, on one of your Sunday night get-togethers, cock your head and ask her if those are dates or not. That's a little more subtle than, say, slipping her some tongue.

I know about the lack of patience thing, so it's good advice to take it slow. As a girl, though, I don't mind if a guy is a little blunt. As long as he's casual about it, honesty is helpful and can get the ball rolling.

Really? But I don't want to scare her off because I really like her. If I scare her off, then maybe she won't even want to be my friend...

I'll give it a few weeks, I guess, before I make any decisions. I don't usually "pursue" women, in fact, this is really the first time I've put my mind to pursuing a woman and actually done it. I usually just let things happen, but this woman is really cool. And she's a mathematician. <3 Case in point, this is really hard and rather frightening for me. Being an aggressor is weird!

I'm sure you're fine doing what you're doing. It's probably best to be as comfortable as you can be, before making any moves. (says the girl who leaps then looks ) Maybe she'll even beat you to it and say something. Now wouldn't that be a stroke of luck? Best to you~keep us updated.

jleftholtz -- The writing is on the wall. Congrats, she likes you! The pattern is pretty clear -- she wants time alone with you. Now, don't jump to any extreme conclusions, but go ahead and take things slow and see where they lead. She's letting you into her sanctuary -- be sure to show ample respect, and be on your best manners

hey.... it definately sounds like she likes you... infact... i wouldn't be so anxious about it.... take it slow...

or... instead of wondering if she likes you.... why don't you say you like her?

pretty much sounds to be going fine.... just let it progress and make sure you let her know you like spending time with her.

:D Thank you all for the reassurance. I don't feel quite as anxious about it anymore...or in the dark (at least no more than usual!) :)

I'll make sure to be mindful of boundaries...because I'm not so great with boundaries sometimes.

Again, thank you for all your comments.