Explain autism without 'explaining autism'?

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This is something that I find interesting, because most people don't really know what autism is about. There are undiagnosed Aspies who would probably run for the hills if their date said they have Asperger's Syndrome on first meet. The fact that we would expect anything besides this baffles me.

What if we just dropped the label, and instead sought to explain ourselves as individuals? Later on after they get to know us, we can bring up the autism as a label for what they already know. It won't do anything besides identify a label for behaviors they are already familiar with, and probably find endearing, but it works. This way we're not hiding anything, but we're also not throwing out a mysterious term that shocks them into running for the hills.

I wouldn't reveal autism to anyone who didn't know me well. There are two people I know who know I'm autistic, one of which was told by someone else.

It's true. People just don't get it when you say something like autism. They have one picture in their mind and it's really hard for them to get past it. I have a "friend" who has know me for a year before I was diagnosed. He still argues with me about my diagnosis, even though I have a piece of paper that says PDD-NOS, with my name on it. He just tells me to stop acting like a child and stop playing the victim. I still have no idea how not understanding certain social behaviors is "playing the victim" . But my point is, I'm sure if you're high functioning enough to fool a NT into thinking you're "normal", chances are they are going to think you're just making stuff up or looking for excuses. I read that 1 in 4 people are suffering from some sort of mental illness (not saying Autism/AS is an illness). I would NEVER guess that the number is that high. That means that several people I interact with every day, that I percieve to be perfectly "normal", are far from it. The only difference is, I feel the need to tell everyone about my condition because I'm obsessed with it. I'm just now starting to learn at 23 years old, that some things are better left unsaid.

This is a good topic. Thanks.

I just tell them that I'm not fluent with body language, can't do subtle and have trouble tracking conversations in a distracting environment; that covers 85% of autistic/aspie differences with NT; add in if I get to carried away with a subject just tell me, covers almost everything else.

That is very, very good.

Sometimes just saying you have a "thing" about something so you would prefer to avoid (like a phobia or sensory thing) or pursue it, (like your obsession) explains things, too.

I guess I try to explain it without putting the "Asperger's" label on it. I'll discuss the most aspie-ish traits about myself, such as: not a very verbal person, get caught up in work and projects a lot, need alone time to recuperate, have difficulty figuring out how my actions are interpreted, etc.

It's all really personality traits. Why do we need to label them?

I have a somewhat different approach to letting others know about my AS. I view myself as somewhat of an ambassador. I tell people upfront that I have AS which is a type of mild autism. I feel honesty is the best approach. I feel I should never have to explain or make excuses as to how I was born. To me it is the same thing if a woman felt she had to apologize for being born a female or if a black person felt they had to apologize for being born with darker skin pigment. To borrow a phrase from Mitch Heiburg the comedian (RIP Mitch) he would just say "***k it". If someone can't accept me for my uniqueness, I wouldn't have anything in common with them anyway. True, many people can't seem to accept the fact that there are intelligent autistic people but the more people that are made aware that there are many intelligent and gifted autistic people the easier the struggle for acceptance will be. Just because a person is born different doesn't mean they have to pretend to be something they are not for fear of rejection.

How comes you guys have "autism" yet no one the people of your surroundings notice that you have a mental case unless if you tell them that? It baffles me how subtly "autistics" you are.

I totally agree with this, and this has always been my policy. I don't think it's set me far wrong. I think you're more likely to alienate people or make them think about you in an unfair/judgmental fashion if you pigeonhole yourself with the AS label too early on.

Most people can tell right away that I'm different and some would even say there is something "wrong" with me. It's because people aren't psychologists. They don't know every symptom of autism that's in the DSM-IV. This is a very common problem for people with AS and the whole point of a spectrum is that there are two sides of it, severe and mild (and everything in between). Just because someone is on the severe side (though they do suffer more) does not mean they are the only one on the spectrum.

And you can even be briefer.

'I kind of march to my own drummer.'

And then, if you're potential date says, Yeah, I kind of do, too, and asks, now, what do you mean by your own drummer? You might say, For example, sometimes I think I just don't pick up on body language at all, or pick up on it up pretty late.

You do not have to give a complete overview of yourself as if you were talking with a counsellor or helping professional. You can let it ping-pong back and forth, and try to listen (imperfectly as it may be!) to how your potential date also has some unique and unusual human traits (and he or she will also be listening imperfectly; give them that permission to let it be imperfect, you will have plenty of time to get to know each other as you go along).

'Let's go slow'

'Let's really enjoy the process'

You can kiss and make out before you reveal everything. But before you sleep together, you probably want to share the two or three things most important to you. (Sometimes I like to be a little technical, so, before you have orgasmic sex, you probably want to share the label of Aspie if the label and diagnosis has been important to you. Also before plateau sex, which is sometimes even better! Enjoy the process.)

LePetitPrince, I'm an art student. I'm surrounded by weird people, so it's assumed we're all crazy. Most of my friends are artists too and are used to my quirks.

Seriously, though, if you stick me in a university frat party I'll stand out like a sore thumb. It's quite funny, actually.

Ive pretty started to mention that I have social anxiety and sensory issues when the bars, clubs, and concert questions pop up. Its true for the vast majority of us, and it explains us to an extent for those that cannot comprehend what autism implies.