How to get to gf's feelings.

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Hi,

Im just wondering how would you get to the root of what your AS gf is feeling for you.
Recently ive been feeling a bit insecure with our relationship, and i have asked her how she feels about me (because within the 10 month period, she has only said i love you once, during our 7 months lol) and she has recently made new guy friends who she enjoys the attention of (and even posted one of those controversial 'lover of the day things' on facebook) so, its nothing TOO big, i would get over it.

but it just posed the question to me - what is my girlfriend feeling - what does she see me as - what does she feel for me compared to anyone else.
im just asking for help and wondering - what kind of questions/things should i be looking for to see what i mean to her. whenever i ask her, she says she doesnt know.

i dont want to ask her about this again cause i know she will get stressed if i keep pushing, so i just need a bit of advice on how my gf could see me.

Thanks, any advice is very much appriciated.

If she has already told you she loves you, she probably doesn't feel she needs to repeat herself.

You might be interested in a book called Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships by Ashley Stanford. The author gives lots of good examples of how AS traits can affect relationships with NT partners - and also the other way around. It is a very loving look at the situation - the (NT) author stresses understanding & acceptance for both partners. You might want to read it together with your girlfriend, as a way for the two of you to better understand each other.

Just ask her straightly instead of asking us.















L.

Thanks,

I have asked her straightforward, and she has been unable to give me an answer - well one I would understand anyway.
I have asked her it before and she has felt like she has had pressure put onto her and has been very confused.
I know actions speak louder than words, but sometimes I like hearing those words - is there anyway to sort of pinpoint the question/find out what she is feeling?
The closest I've ever come was when she said 'The love I have for you is sort of like a best friend, but a bit different' and she never followed up on it.

Would anyone be able to offer anymore support or similar experiences?
Thanks

Check this out orangesun http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexithymia a lot of people on the spectrum have this problem to a greater or lesser degree, it's not that they don't want to it's just they can't and being asked to makes them angry as it exposes what many see as an inadequacy. No particular question will get through and continually pushing to find an answer will just push her away most likely. Sorry it's not exactly helpful but it's just the way it is infortunately

^^beat me to it