Returning to the Dating World after Two-Year Hiatus

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I recently made the decision to end my voluntary celibacy (a sexual sabbatical, if you will). I feel as if I've come into myself over the past two years and have a better idea of what I want out of a potential partner and our relationship.

I am not sure how to proceed from here. I dislike the predatory parallels in the American lexicon relating to romantic engagements ("on the prowl," "hunting for a man," "cougars," etc.). I am taking a more passive stance--if a connection were to develop and I were to recognize it, I would suggest the possibility of a date. Bars are not my speed (I barely drink, save a glass of wine here and a martini there), but I have determined that the symphony and the science museum would be appropriate venues for a date.

It is especially difficult due to the lack of available females, let alone ones who would be interested in me. I am terrified of flirting with a straight girl--I would not want to extend an unwanted advance. There are loads of pretty girls at school, but to look at them and think they're pretty and nothing else makes me feel like I'm objectifying them.

I have even considered dating men--the lanky, nerdy types a la Spencer Reid or Sheldon Cooper or the Tenth Doctor. My TV boyfriends do not have genitals, which is convenient, as I have not yet begun to consider the possibility of sex again. The minor physiological differences between males and females has become moot--it's the matter of socialization and gendered romantic roles that has me hesitant to date men.

For the most part, I have been skimming online personals and have engaged in several ongoing conversations. The spring term at school starts up again soon; perhaps there will be someone in one of my classes who piques my interest (or who is even remotely piqued by mine?).

I have a new haircut. I have pressed pants. I have the 2004 edition of Emily Post's Etiquette. Too bad I haven't a clue.


Today is a bad day, and I am having a particularly difficult time putting words together. If you would please forgive my syntax, I would appreciate advice and/or encouragement.

VivaLaConfusion, you might want to try this dating website
http://www.sciconnect.com/
(Disclaimer: I have never used it. I decided to take a break from dating several years ago, and I have never gone back. I simply have too hard of a time relating to, and dealing with, other people. )

On a somewhat related note, there is this old article, "Testing: Nerd-Dating Sites" <http://www.nerve.com/regulars/quickies/nerddating/> . (You probably should not visit Nerve.com's website if you are using a computer at work. Also, my apologies if you do not consider yourself to be "nerdy", and hence take offence at this suggestion.)

I visited some of the sites you mentioned, but dating is not high enough on my list of priorities for me to pay for a membership. I would be entirely satisfied to spend my life alone. More than anything, I suppose, I am curious as to what it would be like to have friends like in books or television shows. I am not certain that is a good enough reason to engage another human. Still, I am open to the possibility, though not blind to the improbability.