Parenting, yea or nay?

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One of my eventual goals relationship-wise is to start a family. But I have heard that most Aspies don't want kids.

So I was wondering, who has a desire to be a parent. (If you already have kids, go ahead and answer yes)

I never wanted kids - didn't like them at all.
Needless to say, I was rather surprised to end up with one! But it was a blast, really. I got to go back to being a kid myself, and go through all the stages (even the ones I, myself, missed) and share in the magic. Wouldn't trade the experience for all the world.

It would have been better had we not been dirt poor at the time, as I was always worried that we were going to end up living under a bridge as a very real fear, but for the rest - yeah, I'd do it over again. But knowing what I know now - worrying less, playing hooky more!

I am a parent to two gorgeous children (a four year old boy and a two year old girl).

Parenting is hard work. It helps to have a real support system (i.e. the children's grandparents can help out by babysitting or doing some child/care). This way you and your partner can get a break from some of the chaos. You might also get support from some community initiatives. In my community, we have what's called "Family Place." This is a drop in program that runs a few days a week where parents/caregivers bring their children (ages 0-6) to play and be with other families. There is usually a trained Early Childhood Educator on site as well as a family counselor. There are other good programs run by health departments here which bring parents/children together.

A couple of things to consider before jumping into family:

Your partner and you should be strong and committed. Having kids is stressful.
Also, really consider the financial commitment. I'm lucky that I live in Canada - there was no hospital bills (I had C-sections for both kids). I also received 55% of my earnings for one full year while I was on maternity/paternal leave. I don't think the system is as generous in the States. One parent (usually the mum) would want to stay home for at LEAST six months (preferably one to two years) to bond/breastfeed and tend to the little one. Don't get me wrong - children who have to be left in care after a few months will be okay - but it is certainly better to be able to have the resources to stay at home. One certainly doesn't need all the silly equipment and accessories that the marketers would have us think that we need - but there is still needs - diapers, clothes, food, medical care, etc. Make sure that your career is established and that you have some savings before embarking on a family.

Notwithstanding my cautions - having children is a true joy. I wouldn't trade them for anything.

No.

Do not want.

I don't want kids. They're too loud and expensive among other things.

No!

It depends on who raises them and how, actually...

i voted no

but it would be cool to experment on toddlers. damn our moralism! maybe in the future our free societies will crumble and replaced by totalitarian nightmares, that will at least have the guts to experiment on people

what..
why are people looking at me like that?

I wouldn't care one way or another, but sure i'd give it my all (or close to that) if it ever happens. As with most of the stuff i tend to do.

While I am indifferent as to whether or not abortion should be legal, I could never date anyone who would consider getting one herself.

I am completely unfit to be a parent.

I do not want kids, ever.

id like to be an aunt of kids that way i could visit and spoil them but not have the full responsibility of them all the time


but unfortunetly im an only child so in order to become an aunt id ned to marry a guy with brothers or sisters i doubt im ever going to get married

I look forward to the day I can raise a family.

Absolutely not. I don't have the patience to deal with kids, and my time spent working in retail and putting up with obnoxious/misbehaving ones made my tolerance for them drop even further. The moment my hypothetical child would start acting up, I have a feeling I'd just want to get away from its screaming or do something that would probably have me thrown in jail. That's not exactly something I'd call good parent material, you know? Some people will keep crowing "it's different when they're your own!" or "having children makes you a better person!" I'm not buying into it. It's not for everyone.

Furthermore, with all the bullying and other such torture I dealt with all throughout school, I don't want to subject another human to that same thing. If AS/autism is as genetic as they say it is, odds are any hypothetical kid of mine would likely be on the spectrum too, and that would just pain a big target on his or her back the moment they were born. There's also a tendency for depression in my family tree, and the boyfriend also has a past of being bullied and is prone to some depression as well. Not a good mix genetically.

If I had the money, I'd seriously consider permanent sterilisation methods to make sure nothing would go wrong. The boyfriend has also considered the same, as he doesn't want kids either. And if some accident did happen and it was too late for the Plan B pill? Off to the abortion clinic we'd go!