Is this a hopeless situation?
I'm the only 17-year-old girl I know who has never had a boyfriend or even been asked out. As far as I know, no one has ever liked me that way. Every time I like a guy, he rejects me. They're never malicious about it, but "no" is still NO, no matter how sweetly you say that you just want to be friends. I don't understand why guys don't like me. People I don't even know tell me I'm beautiful; I'm generally mild-mannered' and I'm intelligent. What else are guys looking for? It hurts so much to reflect on the fact that males just don't see me that way.
However, the specific situation to which my topic title was referring to is as follows:
There's a guy I like whom I've been friends with for a few months. We sit at the same lunch table (yes, I'm in high school). I first met him through a mutual [male] friend, and I was intrigued by him before he said a word. We started talking, and we got along really well. I felt strongly connected to him, because we like to talk and think about the same things. Our personalities are quite similar, as are our likes and dislikes. I feel like, "finally, here's someone who can finally understand me." Sometimes, I would even think that I actually had a chance.
Until SHE showed up. SHE also sits at our lunch table, and lately SHE's been sitting next to him instead of her old spot. SHE tries to talk to him a lot (even though he's generally a quiet person). Every time I try to talk to him, SHE just has to insert herself into our conversation. I can't talk to him like I used to, because of HER. SHE is like a wall between him and I. The worst part is when I see him laughing with her. Today, I left lunch early because I couldn't take it. I watched from inside a classroom as they walked by. They were laughing together. I felt my heart break in half. I don't know what to do. Does SHE like him? Does he like HER? I can't see why he would. She's more irritating than a mosquito and I'm at least five times more attractive than she is (I showed my mother her picture, and she laughed. Plus, everyone I've asked has agreed with me on that). Is it hopeless? What's with HER, and how can I get HER away from him?
First of all, if you are an aspie, which you may not be because you don't mention, so im not sure. Even if you are really good looking or not, if you aren't sending the right flirting cues(something we do not do well us aspies) he may not even realise that you even like him. Look up how to flirt with a guy on the internet and just copy the rules. Secondly, nt women are much better, in my experience at flirting than aspie girls, so next time whatch how she does it and just copy her, easy. Sometimes girls do get a kick out of just flirting for the sake of it, I know why I never understand (all very stressfulif you ask me) she could be trying to wind you up because she realises that you like him, ive had freinds who used to always hit on a guy if they knew i liked him, i think its the challenge with some women. If he still isn't keen after your flirting attempts and the fact you have so much in common, then move on honey, dont waste your life worrying about a guy who isnt smart enough to see how lovely you are! he's dumb then!
Im really sorry that you feel this way, I understand where you're coming from.
If it helps (It probably wont) I never had a boyfriend until I was 19 and even then it sucked. Iim nearly 25 and ive never been with anyone good.
You must feel terrible that this girl has butt barged her way into your life. Are you friends with her... I mean why did she sit at your table to begin with?
It seems really unfair that someone can just walk into life and get what they want so easily. I'm really sorry I know how that feels. Have you tried asking him to hang out outside fo school?
I can't tell you what to say, because I haven't seen his mannerisms. I know I was the guy in situation strikingly similar to that. The best thing you can do, especially if he's an Aspie, is to let him know you have feelings for him. Don't use the word 'love', but the phrase "I have feelings for you" could work.
Still, my advice is only as good as my assumptions. *shrug*
I wouldn't sweat not being asked out too much. Not everything is AS, some things are flat out chalked down to bad luck.
I mean unless everyone of those guys in a 1 week gap hooked up with someone else, I say its safe to not be totally pessimistic.
I'm not going to lie tho, its possible he does like her. I mean is what she saying not all that funny and does he laugh like it is? That'd be a sign he does like her.
Then review the way you guys are.. you have a lot in common but do you click, do you guys laugh together? Or is this just the crush of the semester type thing?
That said, who knows if he actually likes her or not. Why not try asking him to do something casual? You both have the same interests. I know rejection can hurt but kinda review what you like about this guy and see if it adds up as to you having a real shot with him.
I don't know about him, but it sounds like SHE likes him. It's also possible that SHE knows you like him as well, which is why SHE'S trying to move in on him right in front of you. I would walk away from the situation. If he gets rid of her and comes looking for you, great, if he don't, I would just move on. No sense in getting involved in any "love triangles".