it's over...

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she broke up with me.

It was all very cordial at least, so I don't have to deal with losing a friend and all that. Still, I worked my hardest at it. Apparently my hardest isn't good enough.

Ah well, guess it's back to being the Unlovable again...

Sorry to hear it. Welcome back to the lonely hearts club.
You can be glad for the good times you had, and the relationship experience you've gained. But it must suck hardcore regardless.
We're all here for ya man.

OK< I am sick of the Google Ads that trumpet (Loser? Adult Social Skills) I mean, I wouldn't allow that from a member but I have to let Google talk like that on WP?


arrrrrrrgh. . .

sorry about your break up, Toadie. Just remember, you ARE loveable. . .we love you!

Merle

Well you gave it a go and got a taste of a relationship.

Did she give you any reasons? Are you still friends?

We're still friends, but the only reasoning she gave is "I've been thinking about this for the past two weeks, and I just don't want this anymore" and "I thought it was interesting at first, but I never really loved you"

That kind of reasoning disgusts me. She's a coward, and a selfish succubus, and you're better off without her!

Well I'm kinda quoting it out of context. It's not as bad as it sounds... I'm not one of those guys that goes "oh she dumped me, she must be a whore" type of people... If she wanted to dump me that's completely in her right... I'm obviously too much of a screw-up for any woman, and I'm surprised that it lasted this long...

Just the fact that she gave you an explanation shows graciousness on her part.

Here's a funny story, my only actual relationship was for a month when I was 20. I know the drill, none of this really makes sense and trust me - it gets even better when you then get the opportunity to be in her shoes especially when you like everything about the girl but just can't feel a spark for the life of you.

Nah, I think you'll realize that its neither their fault nor yours.

Last edited by techstepgenr8tion on 16 Nov 2009, 10:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Well I guess it's a good thing that would never happen to me... not only have I squandered the one miracle chance that God had so merciful enough to bestow unto me, but there's also the fact that if I like everything about a girl, a spark forms by default...

Doesn't really sound like a miracle chance. I don't believe you flubbed this one at all actually, just that your you, she's her, and whatever chemistry she thought she had was something that she was experimenting with - probably well hoping that she could feel something for you, and for whatever reason it didn't sustain.

The hardest trick is learning not to take this kind of thing personally (though I'll admit, at 21 with the way friends usually are - I know that's much more easily said than done).

Well that usually happens when people aren't feeling it anymore. At least she gave you a reason or said it. the way you worded it though is very harsh, hope she didn't say it like that...

Its not meant to be... just keep at it.

how exactly?

Is it possible that you were working hard to make the relationship work & she was not? That would not necessarily indicate that your efforts weren't good enough - it could be that your relationship lacked balance. When one person puts in most of the effort, it throws everything out of whack.

(Sinsboldly - Adblock Plus is your friend.)

Yeah don't beat yourself up because your hardest couldnt keep her. She is one girl, and maybe for another girl you won't even need to try.

Don't base your ability to keep a woman or your worth on one experience. You probably just wern't compatible.

I've been praying to God for over 5 years for just one chance to prove I do have what it takes to be in a relationship. Being that most of my church friends believe in a God that is essentially a practical joker, I'm envisioning him answering my prayers with a raised eyebrow a la Spock and going "You really want to do this, huh?"

I guess I'll never get it. If I'm around a woman long enough and I like most or all of her personality traits, a spark forms by default for me. I'm getting the idea that it only works that way for me...

Well whose fault would it be, then? Hers? It's not her fault if my ability to handle a relationship is inadequate...