I want to fall in love.

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I"ve never been in love, but I've experienced previews of what real love actually might feel like, and if it feels the way I think it does, there is nothing better than it.

On two occasions in my life, I've got "that feeling" just looking at or thinking about a woman (not a celebrity either...women I knew in real life.) The only way to describe it is by paraphrasing the song My Girl..."I've got sunshine on a cloudy day...When it's cold outside, I have the month of May." And when it's nice outside, it's REALLY nice outside. I wish I could access this feeling 24/7...it would be a permanent euphoria.

With my last girlfriend (who I liked but didn't feel that way about)...after she broke up with me, we were just hanging out for a while...and I remember her smiling at me after she said something...and I wanted to kiss her at that moment...just one of those moments. She said "What? You're thinking something obviously..." I said "Nothing" (Because I knew she'd lost feelings for me by that time and wouldn't want to kiss.) I also remember sitting at home, sad as hell, listening to I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues by Elton John. Simply put...even though this wasn't love or anything close, at least I "felt" something. And as an Aspie, I wish I could access similar feelings 24/7.

I can't imagine being on coke or ecstasy feeling much better, and this has no side-effects.

I guess my point is that, when I look at a woman, part of me is already thinking "Would I be able to look at her face a year from now and feel the same way about her I do now?" I believe in love at first sight, and I believe that a lot of men don't care about love or believe in it, and that women fall for men that don't care about love, and that's why we have the problems we do. The regular guys out there are passed up on because they aren't "interesting" enough.

Do you really?

Love hurts.

I cannot press of the absolute accuracy of that statement any harder. I, on the other hand would rather be incapable of love.

good luck with that

I pity tha fool.



Flying around in the clouds wearing rose-colored glasses is wonderful, too...


Until you find yourself broken and bloody on the ground with shards of glass in your eyes.





A love song only lasts three and a half minutes, 'cause if it lasted any longer, it would be a song about something else...

Love is out there. It is not easy, it does not run on your schedule, and it rarely looks as one thinks it might or should - but it does exist. Yes, it does hurt at times... but if one did not hurt, there would be no appreciation of the good times.


M.

Well, maybe that's a good thing....maybe you've finally found the "price" that will motivate you to make some changes.

I had dated and looked for a guy who I would be in love with and happy with for years. I had even married an as*hole who beat the crap out of me and stayed with him for a little over a year before I divorced him. After I was divorced I decided I might date, but never wanted to fall in love again. Right around that time I met my husband. The one I'm married to now. He was interesting. He was good looking. He was a 'macho' type man in a way, he does construction work and was well built, had played football in high school. He was also nice, loving, considerate, and cared about me and my feelings. He was a "nice guy" but unlike a lot of people seem to think on here, being a nice guy and being good lucking and well built and popular and liking to party from time to time, are not mutually exclusive.

Anyway, I didn't want to fall in love again and found myself falling for him. I tried to stay away and all, but I just couldn't. We married the next year and have been married for 22 years.

Everybody had told me that when I stopped looking so hard for love, I would find it. It was true, I did. I also found out that what I had thought was love with my first husband was not.

PaganMom

Well if you found a nice guy jock that parties, I can find my pale brunette that is cynical and doesn't party.

I think the shallow 'drug-type' of love (the drug, btw, being endorphins jk) kind of undermines a deeper kind of love that involves commitment and having true kinship with the other. Today it seems love comes and goes like the wind. I'm sure you want both and it to be long lasting, and I wish you well in your endeavor!

I like the way you described love. I think, for me, more than sunshine or happiness, it was a sense of peace. Acceptance. Feeling that somehow things would work out. But it does sound like you have some inkling, and that will help.

PaganMom and Mak both made really important points. Love doesn't run on a schedule and it most often happens when you aren't looking for it. The best way to find love is to find yourself, to live and enjoy your life, and stay open to letting someone in to share it, but not desperate for that to happen.

We often have issues that need to be resolved before we can really be whole partners in a relationship, and we often aren't aware of those issues until we've changed them. You have to accept that there may be a process you need to go through before you are really ready, and that could be why you find yourself waiting, instead of having. It is much better to have the real thing when you are really ready than to jump the gun because you just can't wait.

So, patience.

I have experienced good relationships and myself have had a glimps or two into what love must feel like, but something usually falls apart, usually in my own mind. I think I crave what doesnt exist and am ok with living a life without it in order to not settle. I am a realist in my heart and brain, but a romantic in my soul. I am also a huge hypocrite, I want from someone else what I dont know how to give back. I guess in some ways I would have to be shown how to show that kind of love and it would have to be exlained to me, sadly I dont feel things like that. For you half the battle is over, you know what you want and how to give it, you just have to find who to give it to. Sounds to me like your ahead of the game. Good luck!