I met an aspie girl...

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First of all, hi! I have AS, I found out just half a year ago, while reading articles in the wikipedia. Just a couple of weeks ago I met a pretty girl who may be interested in me (at least I hope so ), and as I spent time with her I noticed we have a lot in common and I kept thinking about it until finally I concluded she is aspie too. All the symptoms are there, I have no doubts. Now i'm wondering should I tell her about her condition before I ask her out or after? I don't know how is she going to take the news.

P.S. This community is great by the way!

Yikes! I recommend you stay away from this one until you know her much better. This can go wrong in SO many ways it boggles the mind.

As an aspie, you're I'm sure aware of the defensiveness one can build up about one's oddness in relation to the NTs. Well, she may not take, as Shakespeare said, "Your offered love like love". I'd get to know her for a while, find out how she feels about this sort of thing. Maybe start out by telling her about your own condition and see if any lights go on in her head.

It's the question of how long did you think about it, that worries me. No offence, but I think that just getting to know and like this girl, maybe you're starting to read things into her a bit. Main thing to remember is that if she has Asperger's, that's not going to mean that she's exactly like you, or that she's automatically more compatible with you...in fact I can see how it could, in some ways, become a nightmare. You say that you have a lot in common and you are hopeful that she likes you so just focus on that; if there's something in it then you won't need Asperger's to qualify or reinforce it. By all means tell her that you're an Aspie...but then leave the ball in her court. It may well be that she has all the symptoms but they're not adversely affecting her life, so she's not too concerned with identifying herself with any "disorder"...

Anyways, best wishes. Hope it goes well for you.

Thanks for the replies.

I have been reading a lot on the subject and I know that things can go wrong in many ways, but what the hell, if it doesn't work I'll just go back to my usual life, nothing lost. Take the issue of communication for example, I know almost nothing about her past, because she never talks about her family, house, the things she likes, etc. and I know I don't either... but I decided I have to at least try and I want to make it soon before she sees me as just a friend.

So I think I'm not gonna mention diabilities to her until much later.

Its funny but its so true, last year at school I had quite a few fliration experiences that showed me that while I could actually flirt with the more outgoing and popular types of girls, a lot of the kind of quiet cute girls and girls who seemed to just be different (in ways that intrigued me) usually ended up being the most snobbish, kind of the opposite of what I felt but from a woman's perspective who's been through the societal ringer and probably had guys f'ing with her getting used and abused by guys or faked out probably happens a lot more for them than for us. Being that's the case, if you have your pseudo NT act on and feel like your doing great with everyone else, you'd really need a strong superceding excuse to get in and talk to one of these girls and talk to em because they're gonna assume far quicker and off almost no sensible evidence (exept generalized analogy and past horror stories) that your a player and a d***, just another guy trying to mess with her. Lol, the one girl who was in my cost accounting class not only gave me a real smug stuck up grin when I even tried to just say something generally polite (an "after you" type comment) but she wouldn't even look back to where I was unless I said something stupid and she'd turn arround and give me a nice long look - hurts like hell when you were trying to approach someone from a much kinder angle than their minds could ever accept as reality and you get burned by what people have done to them. If that happened these days, I'd really have the urge to do something powerful in terms of just letting her take it out on me, take it out on me (not being a pushover or a wimp, just an unphasable brick wall she could tire her psychological knuckles on), and have her see that I was gonna understandingly take it out but stand there with honor like I saw what was up and cared.

Don't dignois her yourself.Asspie girls are rare(or atleast rarely diqnoised).Don't tell her what you think that would probally a good thing.Try talking to her more try find more about her.Maybe if your lucky engough she might dignoised with as well and she might think the same thing with you

Nobody gets diagnosed in my country... that's the beauty of living in the third world . But you are right I shouldn't go around diagnosing people.