Am I intimidating?

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My coworkers are always looking at me, but they rarely ever talk to me. I look back at people, but still everyone waits for me to strike up the conversation. I'm not a conversationalist, and I'm very introverted. Having to initiate contact EVERY time -that's very draining! How the hell am I supposed to make friends?

I just don't get why everyone acts this way towards me. Whats the deal here? Am I intimidating?

Some may say this thread doesn't belong in Love And Dating, but I suspect my romantic troubles are a part of this experience I'm describing.

If comfortable, post a regular, relaxed picture in regular, relaxed clothing.

It may have to do with your actions or demeanor, but we'll start with your appearance.

Perhaps people don't know how to approach you, since you are so quiet. Sometimes, people find that in itself intimidating. I am the opposite. I prefer to try to crack people's shells so to speak, without making them uncomfortable. I am just guessing as to what it could be, however.

Smile more, keep open body language--do things that encourage others to see you as open and accepting. Do things that are interesting, or that others may find interesting. You may have to be the first person to approach, but it does get easier the more you do it. You'll also be able to weed people out faster speaking to others rather than waiting on them.

Also: be sure to use YouTube for tutorials on body language and facial expressions/tone of voice. Those are critical.

I agree with what Kinme said, with the caveat to be careful with the smile. It can be really creepy when someone smiles but doesn't feel it - and that applies to NTs too, not just Aspies. 'Open' body language is easier to study and get right without creeping anyone out.

you might also check how you respond to people: are you frequently critical (even if it's constructive, helpful criticism) without also giving kudos? if so, people might be reluctant to approach you because doing so is setting themselves up for negative feelings.

Please do not try to smile, initiate conversation or other behaviour which feels 'different' to you. People win EQ, empathy and such will know immediately lol

I worked with a leadership consultant for months to learn to make co-workers comfortable by talking to each in their way for 5 minutes each day. It made me miserable! In the end I quit a very senior role as I let the director know that was wrong of them to try to m are me do this. I liked them all just fine but at work was very focused on keeping the work on track and very transactional in communication. This was mis-read as being cold or nasty by those who didn't really know me. Most would say I was very intimidating and aloof.

The solution for me came with allowing myself to be this person at work as I was very successful and did great work. Over time I got to know each new team member outside of work, even if it was just once. When we were in a casual setting and not with tasks to accomplish I could connect a little with them. They realised with a little help that I was just super focused and did care for them all, I just showed that while at work by making sure all of their jobs were stable, secure and fulfilling.

Takes time but by far a better outcome than pretending to be like everyone else. You are just good at different things, help people understand that.

It's literally *impossible* to know or give advice based on what little you told us.