As I finish my 21st year of existence on this planet, I have to stop and look back at everywhere i've gone emotionally all these years. The first 9 months of it were relatively bland, nothing but the blur of day after lonely day. I made a few friends, while I've lost touch with others.
But the biggest thing that happened was I had my first relationship. On October 15, I felt pure happiness for the first time in my life. I finally felt like I belonged somewhere in this world. The depression I was beginning to spiral into due to loneliness was stopped in its tracks.
Conversely, I felt the actual sting of loneliness a month later when she broke up with me. The loneliness I felt beforehand could never in a million years hope to prepare me for the feeling that I was then immersed in. That depression returned in full force and only got worse. Everyone here really got fed up with me.
But over time, I realized how things really weren't that bad. My ex and I made up somewhat, and we're actually back to being good friends now. It's just that while we did, and still do, have feelings for each other, the relationship itself just didn't work out. Most importantly of all, I really got a taste of what was involved in a relationship, and, as short as this one was, it helped dispel some of the fantasies that I had about relationships beforehand, and ultimately I emerged a better person overall for it.
Here's to a 22-year-old that will hopefully have a better life than his 21-year-old counterpart...
26 Jan 2010, 9:13 pm
