I give up

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I give up. Finding an Aspie who is a Christian and likes all the things I like will never happen.

In fact, it would be a miracle if I found any Aspie who is single, looking, and not asexual.

I make the first move if I find someone interesting, I take care of myself, I am goal-oriented, and working on being a good provider, I am a responsible person. Yet it's not good enough for a prospective partner.

I know how you feel Tim. I'd say don't just settle for someone though. There has to be some kind of spark, otherwise it will end sadly.

I am convinced that the problem is me, but I am not sure.

Even if I weren't the problem, there are no single, non-asexual female Aspies in Texas or the states bordering it (Louisiana, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and New Mexico).

Actually giving up will probably help you. You're probably giving off "you must meet these requirement" vibes and that can't be conducive to finding love. Concentrate on job hunting and doing things that you personally enjoy. There's no reason to disclose any of those things you mentioned at first. It may be that by the time it comes up, it won't matter anymore.

finally!

It's just that I am nobody's "dream guy". And virtually everyone who likes the things I like is either not looking for a relationship, or already in one.

That damn, stupid list of yours is what is causing all of the problems. Maybe now you'll get rid of it.

Allow me to get all new-agey on you: Giving up is good. Surrender to destiny. If you must desire, desire with an open heart, mind, with little anticipation, to do otherwise is to shut out the gifts that the cosmos has to offer you but you were not expecting.

Here is my new battle plan:

1. Although I like to travel, I am willing to settle for someone who just wants to sit at home all day.

2. If someone wants to wait until marriage, or not do anything sexual that won't lead to procreation, I am prepared to say "OK, you're the boss!"

3. If said partner is a right-wing religious zealot, I am willing to let her control me--even if it means I can't watch the Simpsons, South Park, or indie/foreign films.

1. Might be a problem for some.

2. Not an option, total deal breaker, don't even go there Tim.

3. Totally not an option, absolute, total deal breaker, don't even go there Tim.

You really need to quit making these stupid lists when it comes to finding a partner.

What if destiny has a track record of treating you like s**t?



Lists don't mean everything...

If you have a battle plan, that's not giving up.

I meant giving up on somebody who doesn't exist.

Did it occur to you that you want a "Yes Woman" of sorts...to be a female equivalent of you, with no differences whatsoever? That isn't what a relationship is about. Someone told me, if your girlfriend even likes 20 percent of the things you like, and you two have meshing personalities and are attracted to one another, that's all it takes.

Last edited by therange on 16 Jan 2010, 12:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Awwwh! Don't give up Tim. I'm sure you'll find a good one, maybe you just need to expand your search range a little wider?

...& lighten up on your "perfect woman" criteria a bit ?

As much as therange and I have our disagreements on a lot of things, I have to agree with him on this one. I'm sure a lot of people (myself included) have had the fantasy of finding the "version of me" among the opposite sex, but in my experience, it just doesn't happen. You don't need to find a woman that likes the simpsons and south park, and is a liberal christian and all that, but what you need is to find a woman that likes you regardless of the fact that those are the things that you like.

In all honesty, there should only be two criteria for any relationship:
1) she likes you
2) you like her

Obviously, if you get a woman that just absolutely *hates* south park, you'll have to come to some kind of compromise. That doesn't mean you have to stop watching it or end the relationship though... more like you just need to find a way to watch it without getting in her way about it. That is what compromise is... if she insists that you cease watching entirely, then she is trying to take over the relationship for herself and it would be best to get out of that relationship (unless you think giving it up entirely is a worthy sacrifice, but then that will officially make you a tool in the process )