Ways to seem straight

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It's happened a few times since I started college - I'm getting on well with some girls when they suddenly ask me if I'm gay. And the problem is really just me being too awkward to know how to flirt.

I think I;m getting a little better. After the past couple of relationships, I feel more comfortable breaking the touch barrier right away (provided I've had a few!) I still don't entirely mesh at big parties, but when it's just a few people (and I can hog the attention!) I seem to do all right.

What experience do you have overcoming awkwardness?

In short... I don't.

I put a mask of confidence on my face so that people can't tell what I'm thinking at that point in time, but when push comes to shove, I stammer a lot and get embarrased.

See, I think putting on a mask is all there really is too it. I mean everyone's insecure, that's why we bother to take care of ourselves and our appearance.

"Are you gay or something?"
"Why? Because I'm not touching you all the time, trying to fondle you, actually listen to what you're talking about, value your opinions?"

yep...

See, that's WAY oversimplifying it. Touch and intellectual bonding AREN'T mutually exclusive, and this is where a lot of guys fall down.

Touch is an important part of showing interest in someone. Acts like putting your arm around a girl or touching her shoulder are what show you're interested in being more than friends, Girls, same thing for guys.

It doesn't always mean if they touch you they're interested in you, but that's how you get involved with people.

Go ahead and say that you're kind of shy and/or not good in social situations. Then if it seems good, you could say, "Could you help me with that?" Depends on what kind of people you're dealing with whether it's wise.

A lot of girls (some of the nice ones) would take you on as a "project" if you let on that you know you're kind of a dork but don't know how to fix it. It would set off their nurturing impulses. And you would automatically get you off the hook for social faux pas because they would be explained. And it's all true! You don't need to tell them you're an Aspie unless you really want to.

Well, I tell them UP FRONT that I'm awkward they get all melty. I've tried, but I can never tell if it makes THEM more interested or makes ME look like a charity case.

Kalikimaka, was indeed charging the reaction.

It doesn't really matter if you're a charity case or more interesting if the result is more time spent together learning about yourself.



btw great album, your avatar.

Idk, i've been kinda mistaken for gay before.
Mostly just because i like to look good though i guess.
dumb reasons like that.

"Are you gay or taken?"
"Umm, nooope... Wait what? Haha. Why would you think i'm gay??"
"Just that you're really cute. & guys as cute as you are usually either gay or taken"


or i guess i'm not exactly quite so masculine in all of my pics.
& i have some silly pictures because i get bored & like to take pictures of myself for my myspace profile. etc. etc.
and i had some girl ask me if i was gay and i was like no why, and she was like, "well you sorta look like you're confused about your orientation in some of your pictures"