Have you ever dated another aspie?

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And if you have what was it like? Did you have more difficulties communicating? Or less because you understood each other?

I have a fierce crush on a guy I am fairly sure is somewhere on the spectrum and I was just wondering about it.

I have definitely dated men with traits. Although I have the official dx, I sort of am right on the borderline as to whether I just have traits or the whole shebang.

As to communicating, it really depends on the person's personality, not just their ASD traits. So sometimes it was easier, sometimes harder. Guys particularly can lose their temper or withdraw completely.

That is all very short and generalised.

hey
Me and my boyfriend of 5 months are both aspys. It is really good because we both understand eachother. But sometimes it can be difficult, we both have out obsessions and diffeerences. I dont regret asking him out though...i love him.

Take a chance..it is worth it

Good Luck

hey
Me and my boyfriend of 5 months are both aspys. It is really good because we both understand eachother. But sometimes it can be difficult, we both have out obsessions and diffeerences. I dont regret asking him out though...i love him.

Take a chance..it is worth it

Good Luck

Yes. My current boyfriend, Cody, has Asperger's Syndrome. We understand each other and it is very different than some of my past relationships. For example, we both find it hard to make eye contact and don't persecute the other for not doing so. Neither of us like going to class or doing homework but we are both exceedingly smart and love learning. However, we are also very different. He is athletic, clean and organized and very interested in languages, traveling, and history. I, on the other hand, am extremely uncoordinated, not interested in physical activity, unorganized, and messy and am interested in sciences, math, and settling down and having kids. We laugh at all the same things and really just love being together; we'll stay on the phone for hours just enjoying having the ability to talk about something the second it pops into our heads.

It's been two months and we are very happy together. I have ADD and he has ADHD so we are comfortable being "random" around each other. We do, however, find it hard to put our feelings for each other into words. We'll say I love you, but neither of us can really express just how much.

We have the strangest conversations together. We'll spend hours speaking about treatment methods for various diseases and injuries.

Our relationship is stranger than most of our friends'. For example, we don't talk on Wednesdays. About a month ago he said he wanted to be a bit more independent, so we decided that we had to spend time apart to miss each other. As strange as it sounds, it worked. Our relationship is a lot stronger now that we take time to be apart.

I don't know how long it will last, but I hope it's a very long time. To answer your question more directly, it's a unique experience. We do understand each other better than my past relationships, but we do have slight problems communicating. I love Cody and can see myself with him for a very long time. Asperger relationships are different than the average relationship, but I personally think they are better.

The first one had traits but he was annoying. Wouldn't respect my beliefs and would keep arguing with me till I agreed. I would pretend to agree to shut him up or scream. Plus he was lazy and always complained and refused to do things to help himself and he was so full of it. Plus he didn't want to spend money on bills, he wanted to spend it on himself so he also complained about that. Plus I was his sex object and he didn't really care about me that much. And he was also literal so we had tons of misunderstandings. Ugh. I couldn't even be specific and I felt I couldn't keep my words straight or my thoughts. Plus he kept joking around and he knew I took things literal but he didn't give rats. He just expected me to deal with it because "it's who he is."


The second one definitely had it. But he was annoying too. Very ignorant and shallow and stupid. Never listened and got facts wrong and argued with me about it. He was also very judgemental. So I stayed and drove him crazy because that is what I do to ignorant people.



My husband has traits of it and he accepts every little bit of me. He lets me do whatever I want and he doesn't complain, let his poor feet stop him, he isn't dependant on people like my first ex was, he helps me in social situations because he does better than me, he doesn't expect me to be a normal woman. He always thinks positive of me and doesn't pay attention to my aspie label. He sees me as Beth and everything about me as me.

I think it has plus points and negative points depending on your character and the character of the other person.

I think most people with AS would be most happy with an introverted NT as I think its helpful to have at least one person in the relationship who is more flexible and empathetic. Two people who cant compromise and have difficulty expressing themselves can be tricky.

It all depends on what your characters are like and how well they mesh.

I went out on a date a few years ago with a woman with whom I really clicked, but we didn't wind up in a relationship as we were incompatible in certain other ways. We did stay friends, though. Over dinner early this year the topic of Aspergers came up, I forget exactly how, but it was around the time I began to suspect it about myself. She told me that she had AS, which was kind of a surprise, as she's one of the most confident and social people I know (I'm not implying aspies are all lacking in confidence or can't socialize, I'm mainly just comparing her skills to my own shyness and recognized social ineptitude), and it was our conversation that nudged me towards getting an evaluation and diagnosis for myself. The day I emerged from the Dr's office, dazed and frightened, she was the first person I emailed. Her response: "I knew it!" She and I still have a weird chemistry between us, though I don't think we'll ever be involved.

Yes, I am dating and soon to marry one. We sometimes have difficulty communicating but is still much better than trying to communicate with most other people. It is nearly impossible for "regular" people to understand him. I am the only one who can actually see his points past the preconceptions and rules of society. Most of our communication issues come from assuming/treating the other person like a regular person. Once we realize we are doing that it removes our communication blocks and we are better able to see where the other person is coming from.

My boyfriend is an extremely fascinating person. He has developed a sense of right and wrong based on logic instead of social preconceptions and that *always* causes him difficulties in dealing with other people who automatically assume that he is a jerk because he doesn't follow the social rules. And it is impossible for them to understand where he is coming from and how he thinks and why. Being spectrumy myself, I am able to overlook the social preconceptions and understand where he is coming from. In addition I have trouble processing and feeling emotions and he is understanding and patient with me. I also have trouble with proper voice tones and other nonverbals (my ex told me I always sounded angry and my body language was "hostile") but being an Aspie, my boyfriend does not even notice this about me.

We also are both reclusive and introverted and don't care for many people other than eachother and are both happy with staying home together rather than going out. Neither of us really have any issues with touching eachother. We are comfortable holding hands and cuddling, which I know a lot of aspies have trouble with. We both have very similar values in relationships and are both very loyal. We are both responsible and willing to work through just about anything. We both take the words that are said instead of reading hidden meanings based on body language or voice tones or other magical indicators. We each find the other's physical quirks and stims to be endearing rather than repellant and we both are patient of the other's idiosyncrasies and eccentricities.

For these reasons, I am optimistic that this relationship will work out.

Spokane_Girl, did you date my ex husband?

My husband is introverted and he has aspie traits and can relate to the condition in some ways. I don't consider him NT though because his mind doesn't work like one due to his brain damage. We're both a team.





Sounds like you divorced your husband and left him and now you have already found a new guy.







No. My ex was never married and didn't live down in CA. His name was Jeff and he was overweight.

I had a relationship with a woman like that... was always blunt and direct, willing to worth through anything with me, and loved the physical closeness. Until she suddenly and inexplicably ceased to have feelings for me.

Yep, sure did!

My second girlfriend was an Aspie.

The answer will most likely be no for most ppl as 80% of aspies are men so like 75% of aspie men will have to go for NT girls.

^^

Yeah, but that's only those with a diagnosis.

Yes, my first and current boyfriend