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I realized that perhaps I'm afraid to fall in love. As much as I want it, I want it on my own terms and for it to not happen by surprise. I also realized that practically no woman can live up to my standards, especially girlfriend wise. It's just coincedence that the two women I think are the most beautiful women in the world are on the same TV show (Frasier). Other than those two, I can't think of a woman in real life or even a celebrity that really does it for me to the point where I think "Wow I'd love to spend the rest of my life looking at her face."

At the same time, that's unfair to other women to have to attract me as much as Roz and Daphne do. Perhaps one day I will meet a woman who I just look at and think she has the most beautiful face I've ever seen, but in the meantime, it's unfair to other women to have to live up to that standard, even if Roz and Daphne aren't models themselves.

I also realized that sexually, on a pure casual dating/casual sex level, practically no woman can live up to my standards. I've spend my life fantasizing sexually about women like Keeley Hazel and other Jessica Rabbit type of women. It's a catch 22 because I'd almost rather fantasize than settle and experience something "real."

I know there's no question, but I guess one question is if anyone else is this picky and this demanding that nothing happens by surprise and things go the way you've been planning in your head.

To clarify further...it seems as though I'm insistent on falling in love with a darked haired woman, and won't budge whatsoever, and for pure casual sex, won't have sex with any woman unless they're the dark haired woman, or they're a model with huge breasts, or an older attractive woman.

Good luck with that.

I guess if there is any good news, it seems that I'm much more forgiving about looks when it comes to older women. So when I'm older maybe I'll be less picky and find someone. Hopefully I'm not bald then.

Billy Preston, 1975
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G_DV54ddNHE

...Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me
Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
You gotta have somethin'
If you wanna be with me

I'm not tryin' to be your hero
'Cause that zero is too cold for me, Brrr
I'm not tryin' to be your highness
'Cause that minus is too low to see, yeah

Nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'
And I'm not stuffin'
Believe you me
Don't you remember I told ya
I'm a soldier in the war on poverty...

I'm not the only one that goes for looks first. No girls or women whatsoever ever paid any attention to me except to make fun of me based on my appearance until the age of 25. It was so bad that even at age 24 in a strip club, where the women are paid to be nice to any guy, I saw the two female bartenders staring at me and laughing. Women used to pretend to flirt with me at work, thinking that I thought they liked me, until I stood up for myself and said "I'm shy, not stupid."

So if you're trying to make me feel guilty for being shallow or picky, not going to work. I realize there's such a thing as being too picky, and I'm trying to correct that, but I doubt many of the men and women on here are losing sleep over that overweight person at work not returning their glances.

Well, you have a job. That's a huge plus.

Do you have any preference as to personality, interests, religion, culture...?

That's pretty much me in a nutshell.

I'm non religious and prefer caucasian women. Other than that, I like kind of innocent types (it's ironic, I know, because in Frasier, Roz plays a man-hungry life of the party woman) but I also like a good sense of humor like Roz's...someone who can cut jokes like it's nothing.

As I've mentioned on other places in this forum, I talk to older women (30-50) because they've heard of the music or listen to the music I like and probably watched or watch Frasier/Seinfeld/Cheers re-runs.

So in a nutshell, other than a really funny, sarcastic personality, I don't have a personality preference. I suppose Roz and Daphne, Roz in particular, are my dream women because they have the look I like (dark hair, dark eyes, thin but not boney) and also can make me laugh.

But like I said, to hold women up to the standard of a fictional character/actress isn't fair.

Well, if it doesn't work out and you get lonely enough, you'll learn to settle. You can't force your attractions. I wonder if you're just so attracted to the characters because they are familiar.

One day you will wake up and realize: "I'm old".... that's where I'm at. That's how I feel. Youth is wasted on the young. Wait, what are we talking about?

You're ok, everybody is shallow... or crazy... pick one.

I have friends that have ugly or out of shape girlfriends, but at the same time, these guys also masturbate to porn and know more about porn stars biographies than US History. In my opinion, that's worse than being picky and single. At least I'm not being unfaithful to anyone.

I feel like a horrible person. Obviously there's nothing wrong with me having a type. Like someone said earlier, you can't force attraction. But as far as liking the Jessica Rabbit type of women sexually, it makes me feel horrible on so many levels, but mostly because it's setting a standard that most women can't live up to. Finding a woman that looks like Peri Gilpin or Jane Leeves (Roz and Daphne) isn't impossible or asking too much. They're pretty, but they're regular pretty. Fantasizing about Keeley Hazel and other Jessica Rabbit types...it makes me feel like complete sh*t. I'm not going to claim superior moral ground and say I wouldn't have sex with a woman like Keeley Hazel...you'd have to be deeply religious, asexual, or not like women at all to turn her down, but it's pointless to fantasize about such a woman when I've seen maybe les than 5 women my entire life in person that look like that. It's not making me happy fantasizing about a woman that even the most beautiful women can't live up to.

Women are my special interest, and I'm not even sure why. I think about women and sex/dating related issues about 90% of the percent of the time. All of you might be thinking "Who doesn't" but I'm dead-serious, no exaggeration. It's a harmless obsession, because it's a fantasy world and even the rare occasion when I make an appearance out of the house, I don't talk or intend to talk to any women, but it affects me. It's unhealthy, and when I told my last couple therapists, they had no answer for it (and one of them knew about the Aspergers)...they just said "You're any other normal 20something guy." A normal 20something guy has other hobbies, has a job. Even Tiger Woods, while a complete pervert and manwh*re, had golf.

It seems I'm obsessed with women for lack of something better to think about. My actual experience dating a woman wasn't that great, and just left me depressed for a few months, worse than I've felt in years. Why I would want to even think about getting back into that again, I have no idea.

It's kind of ironic how there are some guys on there that constantly vent over not getting women or not having a girlfriend, and I'm venting over thinking about women too much.

I don't mind Aspergers at all. I look at it as a blessing in disguise (until my parents are dead years from now and I have no one to take care of me) but this women obsession is too much for my mind. It isn't even sexual because I don't have a dirty mind or a high sex drive. It's just a plain obsession with women. Even if I met my Roz or Daphne lookalike, I get the impression on the side, I'd still be obsessing over women...not cheating or talking to other women...but living in my mind.

Just a thought, but some people here have talked about "people obsessions." Seems more common amongst ASC women, but some guys (I've had them) get them too. It's specific people, rather than a class of humankind at once, though.

Yeah, well I don't think I'm necessarily obsessed with Roz or Daphne. They're my ideal, but I don't spend a lot of time during the day thinking about them. Occasionally I'll pop in a Frasier DVD (occasionally being once a week usually) or look at pictures for a few minutes, but it's more of the whole gender, not any woman in particular. It's almost like in a way, other than males that are immediate to me (My father, brother, other relatives, bandmates, musicians that I listen to) I don't even acknowledge that there is a male gender. When I talk to women online or the phone, I make fun of other men and usually say something like "Throw a beer, nachos, a game and a fake breasted woman at them, and they're happy."

Being good looking doesn't keep a man from being unfaithful (Tiger?)

I don't think it's healthy to beat yourself up for being a normal man, although I do find it refreshing.

Edit: TMI

Range, real relationships are messy and ugly and heartbreaking. I think creating an unrealistic standard any woman would need to meet (in order to catch your interest) is really self-handicapping. If you weed out practically every woman you might encounter, then there's very little risk of having a relationship, and very little risk of being hurt. I think you're focused so intently on your "type" now because of your recent bad relationship experience. I think you're just trying to protect yourself from the (possible) ugliness and pain that results when you trust someone (even a little) with your heart. I think it's okay to do that for a while (until you're healed), but I think it's important to recognize it for what it is. If you realize the role it's playing in your life, you'll be able to let it go when it no longer serves you.