Aspies, what is your love language?

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According to the book The Five Languages of Love, there are five ways people show and receive love. They are:

1) Verbal affirmations (e.g., You are great; I love you, etc.)
2) Physical touch (includes sex)
3) Acts of service (doing something for another person)
4) Spending quality time
5) Giving gifts

How do you show love to someone? What is your preferred way to receive love?

To be honest, all of those are applicable to me. However, I selected physical touch as the most important. Not so much sex, but more of an affectionate touch... After that, it's acts of service, spending quality time, verbal affirmations, and then giving gifts, in that order. But they're all important...

Time would obviously let one know if they are suitable or not.

Hmm, if I ever love someone, I'll let you know

I'm not very good at words, so practical ways to show love work best for me... doing something for someone else.

Well, I start from the principle that I am not altogether sure that I feel the same way as my partner does about our relationship.

1) Verbal affirmations are not in my lexicon. I cannot recall the last time I said, "I love you" to either my partner or my parents. Even if I did, it would be a form of words, rather than an expression of my emotional state.

2) Physical touch is difficult for me. Handholding is occasional, and, of course there is intimate touching, but they are not the routine expression of my appreciation of the relationship.

3) Acts of service are an occasional element. Doing something nice for someone is a good strategy for me, because it is a way of expressing myself without the need for verbalization, or contact.

4) Spending quality time. This is the key--as well as being the challenge for us because of our divergent schedules.

5) Giving gifts. We already have too much stuff. Enough with the gifts already!

So for me, it's 4, followed by 3, with 1, 2 and 5 not even registering on the chart.

Mine is acts of service. I get jobs so mum doesn't have to work as hard and can spend time with my brother, I watch my brother even when I'm tired so my sis can go to her classes. I don't do things for myself, I do them based on how others will percive them. But it doesn't bother me, it's how I show I care. Some people think I just 'need to do things for me', but I caint relate that to my worldveiw, it feels selfish.

I talk to my husband and spend time with him. I also clean the apartment.

definitely acts of service. it wouldn't be my bet but I've been told that a number of times (mostly by friends, but I think it still counts).

^Same here. The 'gift giving' was a close second, but I think 'acts of service' gets the nod.

That list is pretty arbitrary to me; I would say that is pop psychology based on creative ‘ideas’ in the author’s head. It is a bit like that Dan Savage guy that people like to gloat about, it is either very popularist, highly speculative concepts, or it is something so blindly obvious it doesn’t actually tell you anything you didn’t know, other than the degree of complexity the author’s analytical skills are at. I would suggest it is the latter and he/she is quite simplistic with their ‘Five Languages’ list. This is about readership and sales not anything more substantive than that. That’s not even mentioning how on earth you define Love in the first place.

OTHER! Everyone knows that the Universal Language of Love is CHOCOLATE! Mmmmmmmm. Chocolate.

I do some of all of these things. There are times that I will do more of them depending on circumstances.

When my then boyfriend (now hubby) were dating, I used to get him little gifts that I thought he'd like. He is lactose intolerant, so I went to a specialty local chocalatier and picked out dark chocolates that were absolutely lactose free. It was just a small box, not very expensive, but he was very touched by the personal and special effort.

I like giving massages - so I do this (when I have the energy)

I am the one in our partnership who will pour over the entertainment pages in local papers and community events news - I try to find interesting places for us to attend (plays, art galleries, exhibits, local festivals, etc).

So I guess I do a bit of everything.

We have been married for seven years and have two children,

The only option that really doesn't apply for me is "Verbal affirmations". It's not that I don't value affirmations in general, but when they're just spoken it's never really meant a whole lot to me - words seem cheap compared to what can be communicated with a look, a smile, physical affection, etc. My wife used to complain that I didn't give her those verbal affirmations enough, and it was because I couldn't see how you could say those things without the phrases sounding tired or cliched.

Cakes

I picked spending quality time, but will add acts of service, and giving gifts. I like finding things unexpectedly that my friends or my S.O will like, and buying them, (provided I can afford them) and giving them, regardless of it being a special occasion. I also like spending quality time, and giving and receiving acts of service. Words seem so trite, such as the phrase, "I Love You." I am better at showing than telling.