feeling a little pathetic...23 and no long term relationship

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So, I don't usually post these topics to just complain about my life. My life has improved dramatically since joining this website. I know I'm very lucky in a lot of ways. I'm a professional ballet dancer, I'm attractive and I'm physically healthy. I have a couple friends who I like. I've even dated quite a bit.

The problem is the dating never turns into something real. I feel as soon as people get past my comfort zone, all the social things I've taught myself how to do over the years fade away. I can pass as normal for a maximum of two months, and then it seems people get tired of me. Or they have a realization of who I really am. Lots of friends have told me I have put a wall up. Personally, I don't think that's a bad thing. I think the less emotion I show other people, the less likely I am to make someone uncomfortable.

I've had two boyfriends who I really liked, break up with me last year. (btw I'm a gay male) I'm a pretty confident person but there's only so much a self-esteem can take. Also, any friends I have, who I start to have feelings for, never want anything to do with me except sex. One of them isn't my friend anymore because I hated the way he treated me after we got sexually involved. (though we officially never dated)

I know I'm complaining about things that most people would think aren't that bad. But I can't help feel this gaping hole in the pit of my stomach. I'm very lonely, even though I would never admit that to anyone. I have this growing fear that I'll never have a meaningful relationship, partly because I don't really know how to.

Many snuggles. One day I hope you mind the right person who see's you for you. You never know, you might meet them tomorrow.

I'm 24, and I still haven't found "the one" yet, either. I'm starting to not really care. Once you've gone through a certain number of relationships and/or potential relationships, you tend to become very pessimistic and cynical.

You're probably just going through a rough spot in life, and the double break ups this year of people who you care for it a bit much.

It cannot be sugar coated to sound better, but "this too shall pass"

Give it time. Its not meant to be now, so instead of rushing and pushing to find someone who compliments you... why not enjoy the time you have right now and enjoy the people out there?

Know, in time, you will likely find the right person.

Again, you feel bad now. And you felt bad after breakup #1, and then #2. How many break ups in a year do you want to go through?

Pace yourself.

It can work both ways. I pretty much jumped into a long term relationship with a wonderful person, I was lucky to find, but being a person I kind of wish I have some more frivolous experiences too. I think you will find someone. It sounds like you've got to find someone who can appreciate your aspergers.

Hello Dustin,

I know what you mean - I'm a straight man who didn't find his special someone until age 29 1/2.

In an important sense, you've been given a gift, whether you wanted it or not - lots of preparation time before you meet the love of your life. Whenever you get a gift, you always want to get the best use you can out of it, right?

Well, you can use this time to get a good, hard look at yourself. Decide what you want to keep, what you want to improve and what, if anything, you want to jettison and start over with. You may want to get advice from a friend or even a professional who can give you some good outside perspectives.

Speaking of friends, btw, try to establish a set of friends who will not be sexual or romantic partners. You don't want the only people in your life to be those you want to sleep with - or who may "hump you then dump you".

Merle and Shadwell, in particular, are right. You need to take the time and enjoy yourself, while finding someone who will appreciate you for what you are.

What do you think, Dustin?

Don't feel too bad (yet). I'm 31 and have never had 2 dates in the same year let alone 2 dates with the same girl.

I should just mention this... there is a reason there is a porn industry >_> and there is a reason why the FSM gave you a hand... or two... so use em

Every bad relationship makes you stronger in your next.

I would never give up hope. Although on a personal note, I would probably suggest to stop looking. Dating is much like finding a lost object, you can't find it when you want it, but you can when you don't. Relationships are similar.

I firmly believe that there is someone for everyone out there. Many guys will probably want to just use you, so in any relationship - go slow. Any that wishes to have sex with you are not worth your time. Those who truly want a relationship will wait

jeez another one of these
be thankful for what you have
dating doesn't make everything
christ sakes
I could b***h for hours like how my neck hurts when it turns sideways
or how I've wasted time posting here lol
all sorts

yes but think of those who haven't had any glimpse of a relationship
it could be worse for you