What should I do to get away

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amyst
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04 Jan 2010, 9:15 pm

I had a relationship that terminated. I have difficulty accept, and I have been depressed. I don't feel other compassion in my life, but I also feel that I might overlooked something.

I am thinking about getting a boyfriend to get away. Should I do that? I don't know where else to receive compassion and support.



Juan
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04 Jan 2010, 9:29 pm

amyst wrote:
I had a relationship that terminated. I have difficulty accept, and I have been depressed. I don't feel other compassion in my life, but I also feel that I might overlooked something.

I am thinking about getting a boyfriend to get away. Should I do that? I don't know where else to receive compassion and support.


I am in the similar situation as you.
But I was not really into a relationship yet.
I didn't really have him.
So what he told was I didn't lost anything for I couldn't lose someone I didn't have.

It's ok, I still don't feel very good though.

I think it's no good to be in a rush to another relationship.
You are in some kind of bad mood now.
And that kind of bad mood will influence your judgement and action.
In most of the cases you may do something wrong in this particular phase.

So the best way for you and I, I think is to calm down and do other meaningful things.
Such as work, read a book, go to the gym, go out to some museumes, visit friends or attend some parties and do others things that can eat some of your time.

During that stage you may find other fun things to do.
And you may also meet someone when you are doing these things.
Then in a happy mood, in a relatively normal situation, you can make your new relationship healthy and happy.



outlander
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05 Jan 2010, 12:37 am

Juan,

Your advice deserves at least a moderate sized choir singing the "Seven Fold Amen"!
:!: :D :!: :D :!: :D :!:


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The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.
All the days of my appointed time will I wait, till my change come. Thou shalt call, and I will answer


Merle
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05 Jan 2010, 9:33 pm

amyst wrote:
I had a relationship that terminated. I have difficulty accept, and I have been depressed. I don't feel other compassion in my life, but I also feel that I might overlooked something.

I am thinking about getting a boyfriend to get away. Should I do that? I don't know where else to receive compassion and support.


The colloquism is "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone" is grounded in anecdotal evidence.

There is nothing wrong with hooking up with someone to get past a difficult point in life. Understand that you are feeling extra vulnerable and this is, or should be, a temporary coping mechanism. If you want, you may lay out what you're after with your new boyfriend, who may feel obligated to try and help versus being scared off.

But, morals aside, don't feel obligated to try and deal with difficult situations by yourself. Do what you need to do to get past them even if society (hahaha) thinks other means are better (e.g. drugs, counseling, shutting yourself in your room and crying at old movies).