Would you ever date a colleague?

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There's a colleague of mine who's been giving me quite some attention. I figured it was just amicable since she had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend, however when I just told her I have no girlfriend and I'm looking for one she told me she's looking for a boyfriend as well. Apparently her current boyfriend is getting on her nerves and she seems to be wanting to meet some other guy so she can dump her current boyfriend.

I'm wondering.... Would you consider going out with her? I work at a company with less than 100 employees, so it seems a bit risky. Also, I'm 28 and she's about 18. Nevertheless, she is pretty cute and fun to be around....

Depends completely on the person. Just because someone is a colleague doesn't mean they'd be more or less likely to be compatible, though depending on positions within the company it can cause problems other than purely relationship ones. If she's your boss or subordinate I wouldn't recommend it, but if she's an equal then there really shouldn't be an issue.

The age thing shouldn't matter, sure people will talk, but they always do. As long as you're not going for a "Omg she's a hot barely legal teen, gotta tap that!" attitude then age shouldn't be much of a factor unless it starts getting ridiculous.

I probably wouldn't.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!! !! ! Dating a coworker is the single dumbest thing a man can do. If the relationship sours the man will be the one who gets fired and taken to court. Sorry but the way the laws are written a man has no rights in this situation.

She works in administration and I work in business intelligence. Thus, we are not part of the same chain of command but we do work about 100 m away from one another.



Obviously, I see her young age more as a potential issue than a blessing.



Why would I be fired and be taken to court?!?

Because all she has to do is say you pressured and harassed her and that is ALL the proof she needs to provide even if it is a lie. I've seen that happen a few times over the years. Do not date coworkers at all.

The very much talked about dating a colleague issue. I've had some offers during my job and I choose to avoid them because dating a colleague is never a good idea. A girl is giving me a lot of attention right now too and of course she has a boyfriend yet she continues to pursue me. It's a bit tempting because she's good looking but I cannot fall into the shallow bandwagon by hooking up with a girl merely for looks. In my opinion, I think your age difference is too big, maybe in another 10 years it wouldn't be as big of a deal but do you really think an 18 year old is trust worthy and mature enough? I'd say not, you should avoid her. It is a bad idea and there are better places to meet people.

Last edited by Homer_Bob on 04 Jan 2010, 8:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's more than just looks. I really enjoy her personality.

She's not the type of girl I used to date, though, however I really do feel like it's time for some fresh air....



She's been with her current boyfriend for more than a year even though he annoys the hell out of her. That's a lot more commitment than ex-girlfriends have showed save for one.



Better places? Such as?

Thusfar, I've only been able to meet women online....

By the way, I'd like to stress that I'm not even sure if she's into me. All I know, is that she's given me a lot more attention (since I started working here 2 months ago) than I normally get from women.

Maybe she's just being social?!? How can I tell?!?

My only really successful (multi-year) relationships were with co-workers.

It was great, I think, because we knew each other very well before the romantic part of the relationship began, but when it ended, it caused me a HUGE amount of trouble at work.

If you know this girl really well and you think there's long term potential, go for it. Otherwise, find your flings somewhere else.

PS

Another thing to consider--if you guys have a lot of work related contact at work AND begin seeing each other away from work, it can lead to personal overload, at least it always did for me...

I was lucky in that I could usually regulate our contact at work. That really helps when you hit a rough patch--you don't want to work all day with someone you've been arguing with all night! Trust me, it sucks.

Interesting.



That's what I'm afraid of. If you ever break up, you're almost forced to get another job.



Problem is : I don't really know anymore. After five relationships I'm a bit clueless about what traits I should pursue in a woman....

All I can say for sure is that I like her personality and I find her physically attractive.

Sounds more like a bitter personal experience to me.

Given that relationships often end on a sour note, dating a co-worker has the potential to be more trouble than it's worth. That said, if it's a completely different department where work related tasks present minimal contact it may be less of a problem should things go bad.

She is the administrative assistant here at work, which means she knows pretty much everyone and everyone will need her services every now and then.

On the other hand, I tend to get along fine with my exes after they break up with me as long as I'm willing to accept staying just friends....

Two warning flags here --

One -- she's a coworker, and like you said, knows everyone. That also means that if this relationship turn sour (and she seems a bit fickle about guys), you two have to see eachother all the time, and she's going to be blabbing to everyone what went wrong, if it does fall through.

Two -- While I do always preach that guys should not let a girl having a boyfriend kill interest, because all of the girls who are worth it tend to have a boyfriend at any given time, so it's good to get in line -- this girl seems awfully fickle about her current one and a bit too hungry to grab another. Also, as an administrative assistant, she's probably not making a lot of money, and is hunting (as many women do, because men chase looks, women chase resources) for a high-paid hubby. Nothing wrong in that, in itself, but is she your intellectual equal? Is she interesting to you in more than just a physical way? Would this relationship last?

Far be it for me to shoot this down though -- love at first sight does happen, and sometimes the right people connect while dating the wrong other people.

No I've never been dumb enough to go that route. I have seen a few coworkers get burned in the past. Plus I have been to some sexual harrasment seminars and it was made very clear that dating a coworker is essentially career suicide for a man. For a woman it is no big deal because the law will protect her. It's hard enough for an Aspie man to get a job and keep one. I'm just trying to keep my fellow Aspie's from losing their jobs because I know how tempting it can be.