Does this girl like me?

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Hi. Johnisblind has inspired me to hit on a girl. I picked one. She is so cute, but there is only one problem: I am afraid to ask her out. When maggots do not infest her rotting body, she is quite pleasant and I think she is giving me signals. Any advice with hitting on a dead chick?

Find some phoenix down.

She is mormon, so she wont take any of that stuff.

Give her the coin that Mad Sweeney gave you.

How do I ask her out without accidentally pulling off a limb?

Use a reverse time capsule.

First, you should be dead, too. Dead chicks find death sexy.

Do they find it sexy if I pick their maggots from their hair?

That depends. Has she named her maggots and/or treat them like a pet?

More importantly, does she have any hair left?

Use a comb and some nice smelling disinfectant.

She does not like the maggots. And, she does have hair but it's thinning.



Alright.

Get her some hair growth products.

If you really liked her, you'd keep the maggots off her, and put her in the fridge. Otherwise she'll be so deteriorated in a few short weeks you won't be able to do anything together.

One thing I miss
Is cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss.
We met last night
Making love by the refrigerator light.
Ethyl, Ethyl,
Let me squeeze you in my arms.
Ethyl, Ethyl,
Come and freeze me with your charms.
One thing, no lie -
Ethyl's frigid as an Eskimo pie.
She's cool in bed,
(She oughta be - 'cause Ethyl's dead)

*********************************

I love the dead before they're cold,
Their blueing flesh for me to hold.
Cadaver eyes upon me see...nothing.
I love the dead before they rise,
No farewells, no goodbyes.
I never even knew your now-rotting face.
While friends and lovers mourn your silly grave
I have other uses for you, Darling.

-Alice Cooper

Last edited by Willard on 07 Aug 2010, 9:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Then Zara has sound advice. The maggots make her hair fall out faster.

Hair growth products don't work on the dead.

This is the most deathist thing I've ever heard. I am not going to put my girlfriend in a fridge. That's where I keep the food.

Besides, we drink embalming fluid every night while listening to My Chemical Romance.