I need to possibly break up w someone I care about

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need to delete this post..suffering from skewed perception

Last edited by poopylungstuffing on 04 Jan 2010, 6:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

I don't think it's as simple as he "doesn't care" about you. Clearly he cares about something, and it's related to you, but it's impossible for me to identify what's going on with him when I'm unable to witness the interactions. Nevertheless, it sounds really familiar. As it is, it sounds like he deals poorly with emotions (isn't that typical of many people with ASDs?) and his grief, stress and other negativity aren't being dealt with appropriately. That isn't your responsibility, however, and he should probably seek assistance with learning how to function better with regards to emotional regulation.

I've been willing to break it off with friends/a mate before over less destructive behaviours than what you've briefly described here, and I would highly recommend that's what you do, at least for the interim. Breaking it off with AS-ish Friend for at least a few months without contact will at least give you both space and him the message that he's doing something wrong, which is the first step in him correcting the behaviours. As it is, he has no real reason at all to stop them because you haven't left--a necessary boundary to create when you're being harmed emotionally. If talking, confronting and other constructive efforts aren't making a difference for either and there's consistent negativity, there's only one option left.

Zero contact is gonna be difficult.

It seems that he is still mad over the backpack.....

It is an issue that has really gotten to him....

Every time I see him, he takes the never-been-used backpack down from the shelf and points out another feature of shoddy workmanship.

He is AS-ish...Army surplus is his everything....

I totally understand, and agree that the backpack sucks...but I didn't realize on ordering the thing that it would be so bad.....

Things have been on rocky ground between us for a while now...

He had a major meltdown last night because it was raining and I rapped on the window to be let into the car and he dropped the key and we couldn't find it....and it turned out to be on my side.

He has some sort of major mood disorder that might go beyond his AS symptoms....

I care the world for him.. I feel compelled to look out for him as best as I can..

but I am not gonna push it....

If he really does resent me, there is nothing i can do, but try not to blame myself too much...

Er... you bought him a present and he throws a hissy fit because it's not what he wants ? Diddums . I would not buy him anything ever again.