Having relationships

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Do you think that if you genuinely have Asperger's Syndrome you are capable of having a relationship with the opposite sex?
I have my doubts.
In fact it often seems this that WrongPlanet.net is for popular Aspies or NT's who don't really have AS to tell us about their relationships.

Wow, I'm getting a whiff of something so bitter it probably has a pH of about 13.8.

((This post was acidic in order to neutralize. And so you can take this with a grain of salt.))

In your mind, how do you feel that people who genuinely have Asperger's Syndrome conduct a relationship? I think that many aspies are capable of having relationships, I have had 3 serious relationships and I'm neither a popular aspie (I dont think I am anyway) nor an 'NT' who isnt really an aspie.

I've never been a popular person, I have always been a loner. Then again I am a 23 year old male, who has never dated, let alone been in a serious relationship.

I have doubts if I can ever handle a romantic relationship with the opposite sex, not because of AS/HFA but of the upbringing I had, the trauma and emotional baggage I have.

That was about what I thought about myself. It still kind of shocks me that I'm actually in a relationship. ((I'm AS but also have past trauma-slahs-horrible-baggage))

I will feel the same way in a few years time.

I don't honestly believe people who have AS (which is a serious disability that is incurable) are capable of relationships with the opposite sex.

I certainly aren't and I am happy about not being able to have a relationships with the opposite sex - I just don't want to hear about other people's relationships with the opposite sex, either!

So do you think that the people here in relationships aren't really AS or do you think that they aren't really in a relationship?

Aspergers Syndrome is a communication difficulty which affects social interaction, relationships and it is not possible for a person to have Aspergers Syndrome and have relationships.

I think there a lot of popular Aspies on Wrongplanet.net and similar sites who maybe don't have AS as bad as me.
I have my doubts that a person with full blown diagnosed AS like me is even remotely capable of relationships with the opposite sex.

I certainly don't think someone with AS is capable of holding down a romantic relationship for anymore than a few days and that is with a large support network.

I feel that is a very sweeping generalization that casts a very dark shadow on AS. Although I have never been in a relationship, I know it can be done, and there are other people with AS that can do it - it just tends to be later than most people, i.e. in their 20s instead of their teens. There are several on this board alone who are married and even have kids.

I'd rather keep a positive outlook that it will happen, than just say "aw, I have AS, I'm doomed."

Sure.

But it has to be with the right person.

Bwaahahahahahahahaha

That is the best outlook aspie guys in particular can have (I can't speak for aspie girls). I have to accept that my 10 year old brother is probably going to beat me in getting a girlfriend. Given he is a outgoing NT, he will be in his first serious romantic relationship at 14 or 15. I will be around 27 or 28 then.

dude, we get it, you don't want to blame yourself for your problems.

I'm only interested in sex, not a relationship and I'm also only attracted to women physically, not mentally.
I think that we also have to remember that Aspies range from people who are scared of other people and who are barely able to take care of themselves to people with careers and kids.

If you don't want to hear about it, may I suggest that you avoid the relationship forum?

I think that what you have to consider is that people with AS are NOT carbon copies of each other. Some of us can cope with relationships whereas others cannot, some of us want them, some of us don't. We all vary. I know full well that, characteristically, having AS means that you have communication difficulties. However, I think that these difficulties are influenced by 2 main factors:

-the severity of AS
-your individual personality

Everyone is different and not everything is in black and white. I feel that by saying all aspies aren't capable of this that and the other, that people with AS are then being categorised into one place and I resent that as I am ME, an individual, as is everyone else. We all have one thing in common but other than that we are all different and cannot be placed in the same box, if you know what I mean.