Why is it that the nice guys finish last?

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I've always wondered that, it seems like the bad boy image is somehow better... I just don't get it.

This has been debated over and over. In fact, there is a whole stickied thread at the top of this forum called, "Nice guys and love, what's your take on the issue".

I'm with you.

I have a VERY goodlooking neice who has three kids and no husband. She keeps dating the "bad boys" even though they cheat on her and treat her badly. She's dated nice guys, but never likes them. I just don't get it.

I married a nice guy. I was one of the few that didn't enjoy the bad boys, because usually they are stupid and boring. Once I dated somebody who I "thought" was a nice guy -- smart, kind of goofy looking, real romantic -- but he ended up being a bad boy. I learned my lesson there, and never went for a bad boy again.

this topic has well an truely been done to death.

It's called Biology. Men are attracted to women based on looks(everyone has a "type" they are most attracted too). Women are attracted to status and dominance.

It's all based on survival of the species. That and most women (the easy to find ones) are looking for adventure.

I can't stress this enough: status and dominance don't come from being a 'bad boy.' This is a sickening and malevolent misconception.

Actually being a "bad boy" and appearing to be one is hugely different. The bad boy image is simply a small sub-genre of the dominant spectrum.

It's all about enjoying the moment, IMO, an attractive young woman is going to get more offers for anything fun related, I don't think this tread would've been started if it wasn't the case. A guy who maintains sustanable activities (doesn't have the car, doesn't do illegal stuff to prove self, ect..) isn't going to have as much fun to offer compared to the guy who goes beyond his means.

Read your heart out (link)

BTW if anyone knows of any psychology papers explaining the perception filters that cause this myth link me, I'd like to read it.

! !! Required reading- every hyperlink!! !

Hmm, that actually says a lot of what I was going to say. Particularly about insecurity.

What I was going to say:
People keep saying "nice" when what they mean is "pushover." This applies to both guys and girls. Largely you hear about it in women, wanting to be "nice" by never saying no. It wouldn't be nice to say that she can't do something because she already has too much to do, so "nice" turns into "overloaded," which turns into "bitchy and cranky." You actually be nice, and stay nice, without taking care of yourself, at least a bit. The same applies to guys, I think. Maybe not in exactly the same way, I'm not completely sure.
Yea, there are some girls who like "bad boys." And those same girls are held up as examples, over and over again. Just because everyone has heard about some girl who dates jerks over and over again doesn't mean that all or even most girls want "bad boys." It also doesn't mean that even the ones that habitually date crummy guys want to. Lots of times someone seems charming at first, and doesn't turn into a jerk until later. Or is manipulative enough to convince the other person that it's their fault that they're being a jerk.

When someone tries to be "nice" by never saying "no" or "I don't like that," it starts to become impossible to be particularly dependable or honest.
And like all those articles said... Just because some nice guys get dumped by some girls doesn't mean that there aren't plenty of nice guys who do get girls. There are jerks on both sides of the fence. Manipulators, too. It's so easy to get taken in by a manipulative jerk, but it's not like that's going to be a happy relationship that lasts forever. Again.. applies to both guys and girls.

I don't think they turn into jerks, rather they are jerks, but are either good at conning women, or the women are so fascinated by the so called "good" qualities they like, that they completely overlook the jerk part.

Uh, you guys need to get over this.

There are girls who go for jerks because they like being mistreated and there are girls who don't go for jerks. That simple.
if she's with a guy who is mistreating her, she probably liked something that was jerky about him.
If she's with a guy who's treating her good then she probably liked a good quality about him.

dont get yourselves all worked up about this subject its really depressing

Oh dear lord, this again?

Being nice does not guarantee you a woman, just the same as being a "jerk" doesn't either. The issue is rather different than just the nice guy theory.

The issue is either she likes you or she doesn't. it doesnt matter whether its because you treat her good or nice, thats her prefernces, it has nothing to do with you.
But of course we always hear ppl say "it has more to do with her/him/that person that it does with youy". i dont really know how true that statement is either.Because in the other person's head it has moire to do with you. but maybe they are just too blind to see that they are missing out and it has to do with them. idk you choose
all i say is that a guy doesnt need social skills to get a decent looking girl. all you need to do is talk to the ones who like you and stay away from the ones who dont. and if a girl acts stupid because she thinks you're weird, then stop talking to her, and never talk to her again in your life.
Im pretty straight up. I dont say "well just back off some"
NO, just cut off all communication, thats what I do with guys who think im really odd

Wow -- that is a nice collection of thoughtful and insightful essays. It should be required reading for all guys (and girls) here. It echoes a lot of what I've said, and it's nice to see this wasn't just the way I saw things, but that it's a shared reality and set of observations.