Girl Trouble...

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I was/am (currently deciding now...) on okcupid and POF and I only messaged a Girl if she matched my interests, and my attraction values. 90% of the time I Got a response, and half the time I ended up stopping messaging them because we didn't match. I will admit I consider myself (or did at one point) decent looking. but I can't take pictures worth a crap. and my profile prolly wasn't the greatest ever... but I always opened with a hello, and a reason for the message. I am thinking of giving up on online dating though. not due to lack of girls, but due to lack of people like me. I have what you would call impossible standards heh.. and I won't settle for less. even if it means ending up celibate. most would call that perfectionism. but my standards are not even that impossible, they are just rare.... and there are girls I know that would probably go out with me if I asked them. but... I can't... most men on this site that are single get all mad because that can't get dates. my problems isn't getting a date.... its finding the right girl. the way I act in person when I am in a good mood tends to make me seem like I am flirting. which is NOT the case. but because of that a lot of girls go all and I either pretend not to notice if its hardcore enough, or don't even notice at all. which makes them mad. what do I do?

I don't know man its hard starting a conversation with people online especially on dating sites.
If your up to it stay on the dating site and maybe something will come of it someday but just know that nothing may ever come of it. Keep your expectations low about meeting someone on a dating site. Its fine to have it as a back up plan but you should focus on meeting people offline first. You say you wouldn't have any problems getting a date. if that's true all of wrong planet envies you.

I guess your right. I just feel trapped, like prison. the chicks you want you ain't getting the chicks you getting.. you don't want. whereas I also feel like a spoiled brat. I want to help other members in there love lives but, I don't know what to do, and I am single because of my specifics...

Out of curiosity, what are your requirements that aren't being met by the girls you've encountered thus far?

well, that is complicated. I guess really, aside from being considered attractive to me. I suppose its more down to the way they are, their personality more or less. and being preferably around my age between 18-26. but most girls I dated had one or the other here and there missing such as extreme negativity, to the point of constant I'm not good enough/suicide quotes. to one being a wiccan and claiming she cast spells on people.(I am a Christian). to being overly obsessed with Disney to the point I didn't live up to her expectation of a prince. then there were the ones that I was going to ask out but fear got the better of me. I mean I try not to be overly picky. love doesn't exactly follow a traditional role. its true I have the perfect PHYSICAL appearance in my head. but that is irrelevant. I feel when I start to like someone the physical embodiment of perfect to me changes to them. probably sounds like jibber jabber.... never have been good at explaining things lol.

Oh okay, those all sound like pretty reasonable compatibility expectations. It may come down to where you are meeting these girls. So for instance, if you want someone who shares your beliefs, getting to know girls at your religious center of choice could help.

I may be christian but, I don't really go for overly religious girls. most religious girls I have met are either coming to god AFTER having a fallout (and baby) with their ex(es) or are so holier than thou that they won't give me the time of day because I don't have this amazing connection. I am a christian through facts, believe it or not. and of the women I have met its all about a spiritual emotional level.

I can relate. My standards are a bit high, and rightfully so - I find that my personality is very incompatible with most teens my age, even if I try not to be.

It's not that my personality is bad or anything, I list my positive attributes, it's simply I can't relate to most people.

I'm not trying to sound arrogant or like a 'special little snowflake', but I find my interests are slightly less mainstream.

By this I mean to say i don't follow pop. culture and am not trendy. I don't watch much tv, I rarely watch movies, and don't play much video games, so that rules out most people because I usually don't like conversing abut these things. I make and listen to electronic music (indie rock is the popular stuff here), the books I read are philosophy, not 'Young adult fiction'. i dress like a jazz musician of the '40s, I'm a really hippy guy, and I hate textspeak and having to write short messages.

My standards aren't even high, just a girl who I am attracted to and basically can like and accept me for who I am because plenty of females are attracted to my looks all the time but I want someone who likes me for my personality so I choose to narrow people down very quickly on dating sites but this usually means I get little to no attention.

I hang/talk to a lot of guys/girls I don't intend to sleep with or date, and if pressed or opportunity presents itself, then I'll tell them that my feelings for them are entirely platonic, and that I don't have romantically inclined aspirations of us being together.

One unexpected benefit I discovered long ago, was the hidden power of referring, by Jove! The amount referrals I've gotten over the years from friends about potential friends/lovers still surprises me, also, being introduced to someone who already has an idea of what to expect from you, and vice-a-versa, is huge ice breaker and efficient time saver.

There's also another potential benefit, but it's probably not your style, so I won't really go into it.

Suffice to say, there is value in friendships, or as the young people call it nowadays "Networking".