Question for the women (NT and Aspie)

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There seems to be a growing trend on here of posts made by creepy looking and sounding guys that complain for days on end about how they can't get a girlfriend or sex or both.

As women, how do you feel in general about these kind of men obsessing over your gender and not looking at the obvious - fixing their lives before worrying about having a dating or sex life?

If I were a woman, I'd find these guys to be creepy even if they are harmless and only hurting themselves. While part of me feels bad that they were born with their sub-par looks and emotional problems (not talking about aspergers, talking about their attitude and beliefs) they're old enough and have the brain capacity to realize what they are doing, they just like being miserable.

So as women, without singling out any particular poster, we all know who they are, are you creeped out?

I do admit that I feel very creeped out by the whole thing. It's not something that I want to read, when I log on to this site.

I'm not creeped out but I just wonder how they figure everything's going to be perfect once they get the girl. I am creeped out when people start talking about women like they are a product and not a human being. I'm a weirdo, I have never looked for a relationship. In other words, I have never decided I wanted to be in a relationship and then started looking around to see who fit the criteria. I know that's not the way the rest of the world does it. I guess I'm a real loner.

I'm borderline creeped out by that kind of thinking and I'm a straight dude

I can't possibly imagine how people are convinced of that, unless it is the case that someone has never had (or witnessed firsthand in anyone close to them) anything remotely resembling a relationship. For a percentage of people, that may be the case; in those instances, the thinking is excusable. Otherwise, it's baffling to me.

This is a board full of Aspies. I can confidently state that we do not all know who they are.

If someone looks and sounds creepy, I'd bet that they would stop looking and sounding creepy right this minute if they could. Since they don't have the brain capacity to do that, what are you suggesting that they do have the brain capacity to do? Stop longing for sex or relationships? Stop expressing that longing on a board full of people who have trouble connecting with others? Hide themselves from all decent folk? What exactly do you want them to do, and how do you suggest that they do it?

Learning and becoming adept at social skills do not come from reading them out of a book. They will not come from incessantly posting on WP or anywhere. They only come from living a real life and interacting with other people, i.e. the school of hard knocks. If somebody doesn't have the "brain capacity" to learn social skills whatsoever, then nothing, not even posting on WP is going to solve things in the long run. If somebody does indeed have the brain capacity, shutting down the computer and going outside and doing real life things are the first things that should be done.

+1

yeah quite a bit.

I might not be the best example (plus, I'm not aspie) but I find it hard to relate to desparate people in general, maybe because I have a really low libido and people desparate for sex just seem so fridging animalistic and ape-ish to me.

but yeah, a lot of what you say ring true, and TBH I can't find anything sexier than an apathetic guy who seems not to care.

what irks me the most though is this kind of attitude that so many guys here seem to have, believeing that they somehow deserve to have a girlfriend just because they are, just because they walk the earth. as if being nice and an overall well-behaved and intelligent person meant that every other single girl should fall in love with you immediately and feel lucky to have you. as if being "a nice guy" was such a huge f*****g accomplishment that it was enough to spread hatefull generalisations about women based on the few unlucky tries or the few rejections that they've experienced.

I see a few potential psychopats on here just because of the accumulation of such attitudes and it scares the s**t out of me.

I'm borderline creeped out by that kind of thinking and I'm a straight dude
I'm confused about the straight dude comment. Did you think I was a gay male? I'm not, I'm a dudette. sigh

I don't find it creepy. I think it is interesting. Weakness in males has always brought out the nurturing rescuer in me.

I know you're a woman, Aimless, no worries there

I meant that I am borderline creeped out despite the fact that I am not a woman, nor am I a guy seeking another guy. I was just saying the thinking is sketchy even to me, despite the fact that (at least as far as this thread is concerned), it has no bearing on me whatsoever.

Sorry about the confusion

Sorry about the confusion Well, it's after 5 pm and all my circuits are overloaded.

I am not bothered by it, I just think it's ill-aimed because love is 'point and shoot' in my estimation, the love the other person has is what is in question, not the worthiness to be loved. People find a desireable object, aim their love at it, and shoot. That's why convicted murderers have groupies who write them love letters and come visit them. I have read people saying "I am unlovable" (I can't remember who though...I read this forum more as random posts strung together than by paying attention to who said what), and trust me, being unlovable never prevented anyone from being loved, even Hitler had a girlfriend.

If I were a guy I would be just like them. They are just lonely and frustrated victims of the crappiness of life. Maybe such a person is more likely to lash out and hurt others, but this is just an internet forum, so I'm not particularly afraid of what anyone says.

I haven't read that many threads in this forum but I assume I know what you're talking about. And no, I'm definitely not creeped out by it.
I know a few guys in the non-virtual life who are like this and they are excellent boyfriend material. But they just don't have the social skills. Girls might be creeped out by them because of their awkwardness. But I know them personally, and know that they aren't creepy.
I don't have a problem with guys needing to express their desperation on a web forum.
I wish I could help. And I wish the social/dating world wasn't so cruel.
I've thought of becoming a prostitute but that can't help everyone in the long run - and I don't want to catch disease. But hey - it's the thought that counts isn't it?!

I went out with an old friend of mine who is now in a wheel chair. He was always an alpha male, ultra confident, funny, perceptive and on and on...However, now that he is in a wheel chair, guys treat him differently. He wasn't born that way, but I suspect if he had been born with some handicap, he'd respond differently to the way he is treated by them.

Let me explain, we went out to a concert as friends and a bunch of guys hit on me that night. No guy ever hit on me while I was out with another guy, so I was pretty annoyed. It made me realize that people expect men to be strong and virile and if they are not, they get the short end of the stick in life.