Dog issue

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Both me and my girlfriend love dogs. Nevertheless we don't live together yet. Our lives are still not justified and our relationship is still not stable.

For last couple of days my girlfriend started to think about buying a dog. I tried to explain her, that I'm not against buying a dog, I love dogs, but I'm convinced that we are not ready for this step. Not yet. Nevertheless, she went crazy... She told me, that she wanted to buy a dog for whole her life and everytime there was somebody who forbid her to buy a dog (her parents, every of her ex-boyfriends).

I tried to tell her that she can no way compare this. Everybody in her past forbid her to buy a dog just because he/she don't like the idea of buying a dog for some reason. I love the idea, but I'm convinced that it's not the right time for doing this.

She would like to adopt a dog from the shelter and she tried to convince me that any dog would be happier with her than in the shelter. She told me that she cannot live with the thought that there is a dog is starving in the shelter while she is there... available... ready to take care of the dog. Of course, her argument was completely irrational.

Today she sent me a link to the animal shelter. I'm afraid that she is going to buy a dog against my will... without any discussion. Well, she has a right to have some freedom in her life... to do decisions on her own and maybe I should support her instead.

But I feel that I couldn't go through this. Well, I told her already that I will support her if she'll get pregnant. But the pregnancy itself would give us some time to justify ourselves. Nevertheless, buying a dog has immediate effect. Plus, a puppy (or young dog) develops itself much faster than baby and therefore needs much more care... at least during first year... Buying a dog is a kind of critical irreversible decision that will definitely change both our lives. I'm afraid that if she will do it against my will, it will initiate our break-up. I cannot see any other solution.

Should I tell her that she can buy a dog now, but she has to consider that by doing this, she will definitely loose my support? Should I try to go through it instead, despite of the fact, that it would make me unhappy?

Holy cow! Let her buy the dog! Yikes!

Sometimes you have to stand tall and strong like an iron fence post. Sometimes, you have to bend (not break) like a reed in the wind. Don't let the 'dog issue' become entangled with a 'respect issue' or even a 'permissions issue'. It's an emotional decision and one that isn't one of the Grand Decisions that you are still going to be making in the future (and because it is emotional, you can forget the idea of getting a 'rational' argument. The two concepts are at odds with each other). I'm sure she steps into your more "logical" world often. Take a trip to her more "emotional" (and please don't see any negative connotations here) world this time.

You're a dog lover. Even if she goes out and grabs a mutt from the pound you know in your heart that you will end up loving it. Better to go with her and make it a happy event so you can be "a part" rather than being "apart". Shift mental gears now if you can, go get her and drag her off to do a good deed.

There is no such thing as "the perfect time" for things like this. There will always be reasons not to. Don't let that hang you up either.

Sorry I don't really understand. You don't live together. She wants a dog. Don't get me wrong it probably will have some impact; however I don't really see how you can stop her.

However from my limited knowledge she should do her homework in terms of breed, and she should be careful when choosing a pound dog, such as picking one with a heartbreaking story or cuteness. It should be a suitable choice. Dogs don't think like humans no matter how much people humanise them. Dogs are happiest with a pack role, which means the owner has to play alpha.