/bh

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/nh

Truthfully I can't give you an answer. I can offer sympathy though.

I can't understand his reactions unless the "he told me how I wasn't missing much by not dating him" thing was his effort to reintroduce the subject and the initial rejection could have been due to low self asteem on his part. I don't know him or you though and so this is just a vague guess.

About whether you should persue him or not. I can only say that you will possibly get stress and aggro if you try contact him again, whether he will be worth the stress and aggro or not is up to you.

you need to ease up on this relationship talk.

Just go out with him, out to lunch or something, don't call it a date. Talk about something other than this relationship drama crap. Talk about something fun, enjoy each others company.

Hi. It's really difficult to get an idea from the narrative. Ultimately it is your decision but I likely would not call a man who had not contacted me for 5 months and 4 months, respectively. It sounds like you are lonely and you felt a connection with this person, so maybe it's hard to let go of thinking about that.

My mom used to say: Don't listen to what a man says, watch what he does. I rolled my eyes about that when I was younger, but as I get older some of it makes sense.

If we set aside all the confusing conversation with this man, the reality is that he has not called you or emailed you in all those months. It's nice that he paid for lunch and showed up, but I do not think I would put myself back out there for more of that without some sort of sign of interest on his part.

Even for an aspie - I think if he were really interested, he would have shown it.

"do not go looking for more where there is only less". A good adage to follow.

OP, I think you gave it a reasonable effort, but I wouldn't continue the pursuit.

Even though you seemed to have a connection when you worked together, it may be that the structured environment of work was the only context in which he could function successfully with you. Whatever the reason, he didn't seem to treat you very nicely when you saw him outside of that environment. (To be fair, there seemed to be a little tit-for-tat sniping going on between you two.) As BetsyRath said, don't look at what a man says, look at his actions: he responded with "ugliness" when you told him you were interested in him; he accused you of stalking him; he tried baiting you into an argument, etc....this man does not sound like a catch. Don't you think it's possible you're attracted to your idea of him, rather than who he really is? It sounds like you believe he's a great guy, but it doesn't sound like he's lived up to your expectations. Just something to think about.

The feeling I get is that you have only confused him. He's probably more afraid and wary of you now than anything. When girls start acting crazy or hot & cold, or when people start behaving strangely to me, I usually cut them out of my life. (I mean, as long as I'm the issue. If they're just depressed or something, i wouldn't be so cruel.)