well, i'd probably start by introducing myself at an appropriate opportunity, and try not to do anything to embarrass myself. It helps if they have some kind of hobby or interest in common with you that you can use as an icebreaker topic that you can deftly relate with them on, but bring up in such a way in casual conversation so that it's not totally obvious you're just using it as a stepping stone to introducing yourself. Unless you don't think they'll mind that it's obvious right off the bat that you're trying to get with them, in which case hey, maybe the person you like just happens to think the awkwardness is cute. some do, some don't. you never know. every girl's a little different and all might react in slightly different ways. they're people just like us. & to understand people, first you must truly understand yourself. & not in a jaded way where you think you've got everyone pegged, & "that's just how people are". I think that's one of the lesser recognized problems with aspies, beneath all the superficial layers of understanding we're trying to master, lies the type of intuitive understanding of our persona. The foundation every personality that's true for all people. The fundamentals & how every variable of life can change the outcome of a person & that makes us all completely unique. There are generalizations, true, but nothing that is true for all of any one group as far as how they're "supposed to be". I look at posts in this forum & you all seem to be searching for a "way" to act, or a "magic formula" of some kind that works for all women/men as far as attracting them. Well, just as there is nothing that is true for all of one group, there is also no one "way" or "formula" that is going to work on them with any certainty one way or the other. They could react to any approach no matter how subtle or blatantly obvious any number of ways in such a way unique to who they are and what they personally think of you. & you have to be completely honest with yourself when speculating what they might think of you. It's not helping your cause to overestimate yourself. work with what you got, be yourself, shoot high if you want, but be realistic and don't be so goddamn picky. If she's a 10/10 and you're a 3/10, then you two better be practically soulmates or something or i don't see that happening all too easily.
If you don't like what you have to work with, improve on it. It's not lying to yourself to change for someone if you actually like the change. It's called "becoming the change" in which case it becomes an integral part of you like learning to walk (which you prolly do every day unless you're paraplegic). if you don't like your body, work out, whiten your teeth, get braces, get an awesome new haircut, etc.
If you don't like who you are as a person, you can work on changing that too.
Forget that self-help manual BS, all it offers is the author's philosophical BS and what "they" think. It really matters more what you think. Face fears, widen your horizons, learn something new, break bad habits, make new habits, consider your options, or whatever you want to do to try to effect such change.
it's the road less traveled.
& wow, it can make alot of difference.
Hmmmm, i ramble alot.
i seriously didn't even mean to write this muchhh.
03 Feb 2010, 5:42 pm
