i wish i was good enough for my grandmother...

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she keeps going on rambling every now and then about unmarried people, especially her unmarried grandchildren (one of which would be me, of course). If I were one of those "single and wanting to stay that way" people, i would be able to just dismiss such things as the ramblings from a bygone era. But I do want to eventually get married; the only problem is that women don't love me... so her talking like that, even when it's not directed at me, just feels like salt in the wound...

My grandma is similar, but not quite that harsh. I'm the only unmarried, straight grandchild she has left so she's always brings it up. Then she wonders why I don't see her very much.

My granny use to do that a lot, nag at me for being the only one in the family single.

She died and single I remained.

Some grannies should just learn to be content with what they've got...

People marry older now than they did 40-60 years ago.

Looks like I'm quite lucky - my parents don't even do that, I'm an only child. That's gotta be insanely frustrating, I'd be thinking 'Pff - your kids had kids - can be happy there and let it go past that point?'.

People give me crap about being single all the time. What annoys me the most, is when they ask me if I'm gay. The biggest problem is, those people expect everyone else to be like them, and they don't understand that there are people out there that are different than them. What's funny is, these are also the same people that are always complaining about their spouses, etc. Don't let them get to you.

At the risk of sounding even harsher, you're not going to get anywhere with that kind of pathetic attitude.

You can't change other people. Consider changing yourself instead.

what does your gran's rambling about how she wishes reality were different have to do with how "good" you are?

Aye, my grandparents got married when they were both 19, and that was back in 1954.

If I weren't unlovable, I would be able to get married, and thus, she would be happy with me. Like I said in the OP, normally I wouldn't care about that little aspect of her disapproval... like rubbing salt on the skin, it does practically nothing. But if you rub salt in a wound, say, the rather grievous damage my own psyche has taken over years of rejection and loneliness, then it just stings like hell...

What makes you think that you are unlovable?

You're also 21, they're weird at that age. Not much you can do about it.

Simple observation. Of all the women I've known in life, there have been none that loved me. And there's only been one friend, bless her soul, that was gracious enough to try, but of course that didn't work out...

tell her Adam and Eve weren't married. LOL. Your intended is gonna meet you eventually, probably sooner than later. Don't sweat it.

what I hate is how the view seems onesided. Like, it's supposedly YOUR fault for not having a significant other, while completely ignoring the other side of the equation (other people aren't robots) as well as any other variables.

I've been where you're at, Toad. It wasn't my grandma saying things, though. I am feeling that way a little recently, that I'm just not the type to have guys interested in me like that. Always been that way. I'll get over it, though, like usual. There was one time, but we were only dating 2 months when he said it, which I didn't mind at first, but then I started feeling this pressure because I couldn't say it to him back.