My name is Alex. I was diagnosed with asperger's when I was 7. I strongly believe my father has it also, but he doesn't know about it, but after growing up without him around and hearing things from my mum about him, that idea has formulated.
I am in a complicated, but disspating relationship with a girl who means more to me than I ever thought possible. I feel that although she hasn't had experience with ASD people before, she understands my behaviour more than anyone else ever has.
The things is, I am so terrible at making decisions. I let someone's opinion influence what I want far too easily and severely, and this has caused me to repeatedly change my mind on decisions that were quite essential to our relationship and as a result, the girl I love no longer trusts me and I can completely understand why... it's just a lot of the time, I wish I could grasp concepts and analyse them in ways that neurotypicals find a second nature and I just always seem to misinterpret things too much. As a result, it has had disasterous effects.
I have a final chance now, to prove that I can and want to change the way I decide things and that she can trust me once again. I understand that trust takes so long to build up and so little to demolish, so I know that I have to be consistant. My feelings for her have never changed, only whether or not I felt the relationship was right; and now after a breakdown, I realise it is.
There are difficulties I have with communication, empathy, appreciation, dedication, understanding and analysation that I've yet been able to put into words, so I was wondering if anyone could give me any advice to help me maintain being a changed person for myself and for the girl I love.
Thank you (:
11 Feb 2010, 3:34 pm
